Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Stupendously Big Announcement

As I've been hinting at for the last couple of days, I've got a big announcement to make.

Unfortunately it is not that I will unleash a kitten army to rule the world. It turns out that kitten armies don't like to go out in the rain.

And it is not that I'm giving a Flamingo to all my fans, like one person wanted.

But I do have a new release:

It is a short story I recycled from some of the free writing I did while working on MIND THIEF. I took these scenes, added a plot, two more scenes like them, and a hopefully likable main character.

It is available free at Smashwords.

Or you can pay $0.99 for it at Amazon.

Unfortunately, I can't directly give it away for free on Amazon. I have to price it at their lowest point and wait for their software to notice that I give it away free on all other sites. Once that happens it will be free there as well.

Repossessing Sanity was a quick and fun story to write. When I wrote it I wanted to try a few different things. I have always loved “Deal with the Devil” stories. There is something about having to take on pure evil that can't be attacked directly that makes for a fun story. I've also been told I don't write sympathetic characters. So I wanted to see if I could make a character whose actions were repulsive, likable. I feel I did that.

I hope you enjoy Repossessing Sanity as a quick fun read.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Announcing that I will be making an announcement.

Some of you might have guessed from yesterday's poll that I will be making an announcement this week. Today I will answer when I will make the announcement. I'll do it tomorrow.

I also gave out some hints as to what it might be.

It might be a new release:
It might be that I have 99 Flamingos that I will give to my fans:
It might be that I will unleash a kitten army that will rule the world.
Or I might have a cure for cancer.
I really hope I have a kitten army around here somewhere. I'll just have to wait until tomorrow to find out.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Monday, February 27, 2012

Author Web Site Poll

Last week I took 4 titles that were unbalanced in their handling of romance and asked which you liked best. What I mean by unbalanced is half the plot can't stand on its own.

The top two, with 50% (1 vote) each were, Twilight and Natural Born Killers.

With Twilight there is no romance without the supernatural part masking the creepiness. It's story of a 109 year old dating a 17 year old. He proves he loves her by not killing her. In real life that is not romance. It is a felony.

Bella proves she loves him by threatening to kill herself if he leaves. That is not romance, that is grounds to be locked up for being a danger to yourself or others.

Without the supernatural part, it is a story about a mutually abusive relationship.

Natural Born Killers goes the other way. If you were to take out the romance between Mickey and Mallory, replace Woody Harrelson with Micheal Rooker, and Juliette Lewis with someone who would only get bit parts in Star Trek episodes, you would have Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer.

In a (blank) romance, there needs to be balance. If the other genre doesn't stand on its own, it should be ditched. If the romance doesn't stand on its own it should be ditched.

But on to my latest poll:

I've noticed on a lot of writers blogs they will ask their readers to come back for a special surprise announcement. This always gets me excited. I never know what they will announce.

So, here's the question:

When a writer says they will announce something, what will it will be?

A New Release

A Flamingo for every fan.

They will unleash a kitten army that will rule the world

A Cure for Cancer

As always vote on the upper left hand corner of the page.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Shut-up Stupid Sunday: My voice doesn't matter

These are interesting times.

For the last few decades the corporate owned politicians and media have been busy restructuring the world. Not to make a new one, but one patterned on the worst elements of the old one. Repeating the lessons taught by every tin-pot dictator that has ever left their bootmark on history. Refining these teaching with technological advancements and a more systematic approach to stamping out personal freedom. But the tyranny obeys the two iron rules of those that came before it: Logic is the enemy and truth is a menace.

The moneyed interests had refined a system to destroy the masses, pitting a visibly corrupt party vs. a party paid to be quiet. Giving the illusion of choice. If someone were able to slip in a take a stand against companies trampling over the rights of people they had ways to remove them.

Now in communities across the nation people are standing up and saying, enough is enough.

Issue after issue protests are destroying the carefully crafted script that the two parties were playing out. Washington was ready to approve a “compromise” that would steal the Social Security Surplus to give to the banks. The occupy movement stopped that talk.

SOPA would make it so a person would spend more time in prison for downloading a Michael Jackson song, than the doctor who killed him.

And locally, the government of my state, Kentucky, voted to get rid of the most outspoken liberal in the State Senate. They failed.

When the people stood up to these actions, the system backed down.

One issue at a time we are taking back our nation from the two bought parties.

So I say to anyone who thinks that their voice doesn't matter and they can't win against the corrupt system, I say, “You do matter because you are made of flesh and blood, and you have a mind. When people stand up against the system, they will win. Because any system, any party, any ideology, that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, and the rights of every person, that system is doomed to fail.”

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Crit'er appreciation.

My latest writing post is up.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Monday, February 20, 2012

Romance Poll

It was unanimous the sex habits of Bonobos is the choice of my readers.

Just a little social commentary here, the Bonobos can have their lifestyle of heavy foreplay, integrating sex into their whole social structure, and a carefree lifestyle because they have found a place in the jungle that doesn't change much. However it comes at a cost that I didn't mention last week. They can't deal with fear.

In Berlin during WWII the allied forces were careful to avoid the Berlin Zoo. Even though the Zoo was never hit with bombs all the Bonobos died of fright. Other primates survived, traumatized but they survived.

If you look at humans we have the ability to swing back and forth. In any society during prosperous times sexual norms get looser, the expression of love and affection is more public and romance is in the air, or at least in literature. During hard times societies go the other way, stricter sexual norms, banning of public displays of affection, literature gets censored.

This swing does briefly help societies focus, but if it goes on too long it destroys the civilization. The Roman Empire was destroyed by the Christians. The Soviet Union was destroyed by the Communist Party cracking down on women not being properly submissive and banning for a brief time homosexuality. I could go on.

I guess I'm saying no extreme comes without cost.

On to my next poll:

I'm working on a writing project, shocker. It involves looking at the sub-genre of the (Blank) Romance.

I will go on way to much Wednesday about this sub-genre, but basically it uses the (Blank) genre to explore problems in relationships in broader way. It also does not need to have a Happy Ending like true Romance Novels. In my research I had my wife help me with that part and while nice I don't see why a genre needs that particular sex act to qualify.

THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE: This is Sci-Fi Romance. Henry is going through something (Time Travel) that both attracts and worries his wife Clare. She learns both to cope and to help him by being there for him and understanding, even though she can't change him. In relationships often the thing that most attracts us to someone is also the thing we hate the most later.

TWILIGHT: Paranormal Romance. Bella knows Edward loves her because he doesn't kill her. When he tries to leave she lets him know that she will try and kill herself to make him come back. A nice healthy relationship.

NATURAL BORN KILLERS: Action Romance. Mickey and Mallory share a common interest sadistically killing people. Others don't understand their hobby making them outcasts, they can only rely on each other to understand.

DANGEROUS LIASIONS: Historical Romance. The love of seduction vs actual love.

The best (blank) Romance:





As always vote on the upper left hand corner of the page.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Shut-up Stupid: “High” Gas Prices

I filled up my car yesterday at $3.45 a gallon. Doomsayers in the media are saying how this high price of gas is killing us. When Obama was elected gas was under $2 per gallon.

So lets look at the cost of gas.

First, The summer of '08 gas prices were pushing $5 per gallon. When the economy went into free fall, the oil market went with it.

As the economy improved gas quickly went back up to the $3 range and stayed there. If we had gone back to the same economic structure we had before the financial collapse gas prices would be in the $4 range again. Luckily our energy structure has changed.

In '08 the US imported two-thirds of the oil we consumed. Today it is only half. A small part of this is because we are still not up to full industrial capacity, but most of it is from small changes in our economic structure.

Cash for Clunkers, the push for home energy efficiency, research into alternative energy have all reduced the demand for oil. The US has bucked historic trends and has had economic activity increase while the demand for oil has decreased.

At the same time “drill, baby, drill' has been going full steam and US oil production actually increased for the first time since the '70s.

There is also a factor in oil prices that everyone who is forced to stare at oil prices everyday for years, like I did when I was Vice-President of an oil company, knows politics plays a factor in oil prices.

Oil speculators can influence the price of oil by 10 to 15%. It only takes a net of a few $100 million to swing the markets. In 2000 this was tried the price of gas started going up and Clinton released oil from the strategic reserve. Speculators lost millions.

In 2004 they did the opposite, oil prices were deflated until after the election.

In 2008 they inflated it again but the economy went in the crapper, so it didn't matter.

This year its being artificially raised again.

So the true price of gas is really just above $3 per gallon.

So to everyone in the media blaming Obama for $3 per gallon gas prices, I say, “Shut-up Stupid, you might be right that he had something to do with this price, but not the way you think. If he hadn't pushed for energy efficiency and research into alternative energy gas prices would be $4 per gallon. Around the same as during the Bush years. These higher prices would really hurt the recovery.”

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Writing Post

The 1st query for my latest novel.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Monday, February 13, 2012

Reincarnation Poll

Last week my poll was about things that might strain a friendship. I took a few things that “friends” in my book MIND THIEF did to each other to gage how that might effect their relationship with each other.

It was a 50/50 split. Half the people thought that not stopping someone from accidental cannibalism to be a major no-no for a friendship and half thought switching a girl's birth control pills with ovulation pills might be something she would get mad at you for.

Apparently, my readers don't care if their best friend is really a spy for the new world order that only hangs out with them to report to their puppet masters, or if the girl that's been hanging all over them was paid to do so as part of a sinister experiment. Making my readers either really shallow or really tolerant of their friends little flaws. I'll just assume they are very tolerant.

So the moral of this poll is friends don't let friends eat people. Also, friends don't let friends accidentally make people. Good to know.

On to the next poll:

In my Shut-up Stupid Rant yesterday I had to look at Sen Mitch McConnell (never a pleasant thing to do). That made me have to research Sea Turtle sex.

It turns out that Male Sea Turtles can hold an erection for six to ten hours. The Female Sea Turtles are quite promiscuous when they go in heat and will have sex with two to three males a day for the three or four days they are in heat. Simple math shows that for those three or four days the female Sea Turtle pretty much spends that entire time having sex. That is one wild party.

I imagine the female Sea Turtle spends the next six months thinking back on that wild three days, then the next six months looking forward to the next party. A cycle that continues for hundreds of years.

I mentioned this to my wife who pointed out that Male Sea Turtles are probably like Male Humans and some are probably duds in the bedroom. That would leave the Female thinking for six to ten hours, “I wish I had thumbs to twiddle.”

Still the wild orgy of Sea Turtles must make their lives interesting.

This got me thinking about what other animals do to make their lives happier.

The other extreme from the once a year orgy is the Bonobos. A distant relation to the U2 singer Bono these primates pretty much have foreplay all the time.

They can learn to use tools like chimps, but in the wild they only seem to use tools that help them play. The use banana leaves to cover their eyes then run obstacles and that sort of thing.

When it comes to sex they use any excuse. Food's here let's all have sex to build up an appetite. We had a fight, lets have sex to make up for it. Oh a new toy, lets have sex to celebrate.

The actual sex only last a couple of minutes but they spend most of the day fondling each other junk, building up to it.

If you enjoy foreplay the life of a Bonobos is the way to go.

Now the Bonobos are only kind of, sort of, bi-sexual. Generally the males don't penetrate each other just hang upside down and “penis fence” or rub their penises against another males butt. But if you are full bi what should you do?

Enter the Percula Clownfish (Nemo)

The Clownfish lives in groups of one female, one mating male, and several non-mating males. The order is established by the largest being the female, the second largest being the mating male, and rest being non-mating males.

If the female dies or gets fished, the second largest (the mating male) becomes the female and the next largest becomes the mating male.

So one lucky fish has the best of both worlds.

But what if you're anti-social?

The Argonaut is a species of octopus that is so anti-social they don't get to together for sex. The male just gets near a female he likes and pushes his sperm in a special tentacle which detaches and swims over to the female. So she can have sex without worrying about personality and stuff. A lot of females would find this to be the dream date.

Based on this information:

If you were reincarnated which animal would you like to be?

A Sea Turtle

A Bonobos

A Clownfish

An Argonaut

As always vote on the upper left hand corner of the page. Special Privacy Notice, some people worry when voting on sex topics if it is anonymous. My policy is that I really too damn lazy to figure out who is doing the voting, I'm just glad they do.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Shut-up Stupid Sunday: Anti-Uterus Movement

It's an election year and each party uses this time to focus on the theme of the election. This year's GOP theme is shaping up to be Anti-Uterus.

The message they are trying to get out is that all the woes of our country are caused by women having control of their own uterus.

Santorum has recent said that women should thank their rapists.

The GOP is outraged that insurance must cover contraceptives, giving women control of when they get pregnant. Insurance companies actually like this rule as contraceptives are cheaper than abortions. Access to contraceptives lowers the rate of abortions.

Aiming a little higher, the House Republicans tried to cut funding to places that give free breast exams. I guess they figure if you kill off the women's body it kills the uterus as well.

In the Senate Republicans are trying to cut funding to programs that aim to reduce domestic violence.

Now I personally like having women on this planet. One reason is I'm just not attracted to guys, so not having women around would really put a crimp on my sex life. Also, this will come as a shock, it turns out my Mom is a woman.

Obviously these are personal reasons, the Senate Minority Leader, Mitch McConnell doesn't have these concerns. He was kicked out of the Army for inappropriately fondling Privates and Sea Turtles only have oviducts not a full uterus.
Mitch McConnell
There are reasons other than the personal ones listed above, why women's health should be a concern to everyone, not just straight human males.

A fact that you would never find out if you only watch Fox News, is that women have the same amount of brainpower as men.

Some women have really helped change society:

Marie Curie was a pioneer in radioactivity, without her discoveries the TSA wouldn't have the full body screens that the GOP loves.

Rachel Carson writer of “Silent Spring”, she combined the joy of nature with biology in a way that inspired a generation of people to study our ecology. (Okay, I can see where that might piss off the GOP.)

Some can be admired by the GOP:

Marie Antoinette, her name has become synonymous with ostentatious luxury by the super rich and indifference to the hardships of the poor. The very qualities that the GOP strives for.

And health issues drive many families into bankruptcy, oddly enough bankruptcy and poverty aren't a very positive influence children.

So to the Anti-Uterus crowd known as the GOP, I say, “Shut-up Stupid, those women you want to deny health coverage and think should be beaten and raped are people's moms, daughters and wives. They have brains they can make their own reproductive choices without needing a man to tell them what to do. They are proud members of our society and should be given all the rights and privileges that you want to give to Corporations.”
By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Writing Post 40

I've put up my latest writing post.
It's a self-indulgent look at the worst part of editing:

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Monday, February 6, 2012

Friendship Poll

The results from my last poll were overwhelming.

I asked what question would be considered faux-pas to ask a same sex couple that are getting married.

75% thought asking if you could watch them on their honeymoon to be out of bounds.
25% thought asking if they were going to have separate bachelor / bachelorette parties to be bad taste.

For the party situation the more polite thing to do is simply ask if you are invited, if you get two invites to separate events, super. If not oh well.

To the other question, it may be hard to believe but there is not a conspiracy out there to have all people watch gay and lesbian sex. I've asked many lesbian couples and that isn't high on their list. Maybe it's just me.

On to the next poll:

I'm working on a novel where the Main Character's friends aren't really all that friendly. So I was wondering what could a friend do that would make you stop being their friend? I know the obvious like anal rape puts a strain on friendship, but how about these lesser things.

If they didn't stop you from accidental cannibalism?

Switching your birth control pills with ovulation pills?

They were spying on you for a sinister organization?

They were paid to have sex with you?

Like always vote on the upper left hand corner of the page.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Shut-up Stupid Sunday: Nuclear Power

Nuclear Power is one of those things that is a great idea, but impractical.

Not because of any technological or social reasons, but because of simple economics.

Proponents of Nuclear Power point out how it could power our civilization for 750 years. So it would seem economics is on their side. Oddly enough these economists are doing the opposite of what I criticize most economists for. They are looking at the Macro Economic Model and ignoring the Micro Economic. Most bad ideas in Economics do the opposite.

Every industry goes through stages.

There is the Idea:

In nuclear power this was the Theory of Relativity through the Manhattan Project.


Three generations of reactors each a little closer to being economically feasible but not quite. It works great in specialized settings but that's it.

The Entrepreneurial Stage.

Inventors jump on the technology and try all sorts of things, the improvements make money the quack ideas don't.

Um, it hasn't happened after nearly 60 years.

Here is why Nuclear Power hasn't and never will go through the Entrepreneurial Stage.


In any other industry a the Entrepreneurial Stage is led by crazy people experimenting with the technology in their garage.

I hate to get all libertarian on the idea, but this is the stage where government regulations do get in the way of progress. It's the crazy ones with no regard for anything but making their idea work that send the industry to the next level.

That worked great for computers. Rocket Science is a little dangerous but the $100,000 liability insurance on the standard homeowners insurance pretty much covers it.

But building a nuclear reactor in your garage is insane. A small nuke could take out several blocks with the blast. Worse the radiation can spread over an entire city. Your homeowners policy can't cover that amount of damage.

The nuclear industry could, with huge subsidies, progress. In the next 60 years we could have Generation 4, 5, and 6 reactors. Each a little more efficient and slightly safer. Maybe even get to the point where politicians believe the nuclear industry is now. But the industry will never be a robust contributor of energy to the average person.

On Earth, people can't experiment with nuclear power in a way that both good ideas and awful ideas are tried. An awful idea with nuclear power means billions in damage.

Once we have a robust colony on the Moon we could experiment there, nuclear fallout wouldn't be a major concern. But in the 60 or more years it would take for that to happen other technologies will make nuclear power unnecessary, especially if we devote the money given to the nuclear industry to those technologies.

So to the people who think nuclear power is the way to replace oil and coal, I say, “Shut-up Stupid. Nuclear Power will never be a viable option. The damage it can cause is too great for it to be deregulated to the point where it can be heavily experimented with, so there can't be the huge Entrepreneurial breakthroughs. If you deregulated it enough so it could go through that stage, the insurance industry would be forced to require billion dollar liability coverages on homeowner insurance making living a house impossible, so there would be no one to sell the power to. Without the Entrepreneurial Stage for the industry, making it economically feasible is impossible.”

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Writing Post

My latest post on writing.


By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE