Monday, April 30, 2012

Learnin' Poll

I messed up the poll last week. When I noticed blogger wouldn't let me change it. I hate the new blogger interface. For me just writing code is easier.

So I don't know how people think Ted Nugent should be remembered. I will just remember him as a revolting pants crapping draft dodger, pedophile rapist, who threatened to shoot the president. He could do a service to society by taking one of the guns he is so proud of, putting it to his head, and blowing whatever brains he has out.

I've gotten flack in the past about joking about death. So let me assure everyone, I'm not joking. If Ted Nugent blew his brains out I wouldn't shed one tear. The guy is a waste of life.

On to my next poll,

I ran out of checks and had to pay cash. I was $1.99 short. I had the wrong credit card with me so I had to put something back. What I put back cost $3.98. The clerk credited it and was baffled that her register said, “-$1.99”. A whole army of clerks had to come over to figure out my change, $1.99.

That got me thinking about education. I support local public schools even though I don't have kids. When I run into a public school teacher who is feeling down I try to cheer them up. I like the fact that they keep me from having to wade through beggars everywhere I go.

Besides knowing that no matter what happens, your child will get a minimum education, public schools make everyday life a lot easier for people.

Today's question: What benefit do you most enjoy about Public Schools?

Fewer Beggars in the street

Getting correct change at a store.

Leaving notes, knowing 99% of people can read.

Public School kids don't piss themselves in public very often.

As always vote on the upper left hand corner of the page.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Shut-up Stupid Sunday: Poor Word Choice

Last night was the Annual National White House Correspondents Dinner. The mainstream media always hypes this up to much, but this year they really should have thought about the headline:


I haven't watched it but I'm sure the President was funny. He is probably the most gifted stand up comic we've ever had for a President. But the time he really killed at the Correspondent's dinner was last year. The final stages of the raid that killed Bin Laden were being carried out while he was at the dinner.

So to the MSM editors, I say, “Shut-up Stupid, With this President when you say, 'OBAMA KILLS AT...' their had better be a body.”

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Friday, April 27, 2012

Marketing Failure

After releasing an old article HOW MUCH HEAD SHOULD A GIRL GIVE IN A DAY? and telling my story of how I couldn't get it published in any magazine. I received feedback about what I did wrong.

I made a major marketing mistake.

I just used my standard bio:

Darrell B. Nelson is a former Securities Broker and Insurance Agent who has decided to use the total meltdown of his former industry, and the total destruction of any illusions of personal financial security the meltdown caused, as an opportunity to pursue a writing career.

It works fine as bio for fiction. But this was a non-fiction article. For non-fiction, the writer needs to show their knowledge of the subject matter. So my bio for HOW MUCH HEAD SHOULD A GIRL GIVE IN A DAY? should have been:

America's universally renowned International Fellatio Expert, Darrell B. Nelson, has over 30 years experience in receiving Fellatio. His interest in Fellatio started in teen years and he has been active in receiving Fellatio ever since.

With a bio like that the media would take notice and I'd be called on to do interviews:

Fame and Fortune would soon follow.

But I didn't think to change my bio. You might say I blew it. Oh well. Easy come, easy go.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

New Release (Of an old article)

I've reworked an old article. It has important information that everyone needs to know:

A little history on this:

Back in late 2007 - early 2008, I joined a writing site: or TIBU as it was fondly referred to by the members. It was a writing/social site. It couldn't really decide and it was shut down and started this blog.

The article that got me accepted in the group was, “How much Head should a girl give in a day?”. Everyone there liked it, and I liked it too.

When the site closed down, I shopped the article around. It doesn't really fit in any magazine's market. It talks about oral sex, so it's adult. But it's humorous not arousing. The responses were along the line of, “cute, but I don't see where we can put this.”

I thought it would be forever stuck on my computer, where only I would read it.

Then I figured, why not release it free on Smashwords? It doesn't fit in their categories either, but what the hell?

So I cleaned up the grammar a little. It seems I've learned something after writing 6 novels. I made a cover and got it up, so to speak.

I hope you all like it as much as they did over at TIBU.

How Much Head Should a Girl Give in a Day? 

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Monday, April 23, 2012

Poll: Ted Nugent's greatest hits

Last week I posted a picture of three homecoming kisses. Everyone liked the middle one. The guy was obviously so happy to see his boyfriend he jumped into his arms.

It goes without saying that love like that can be caught on film.

This week's poll deals with Ted Nugent. He has been around so long that different generations remember him for different things.

Baby Boomers might remember him as the guy who crapped his pants for a solid week to avoid the draft.

My Generation will remember him as the guy who forced a 12-year-old Courtney Love to give him head.

The current generation will remember him for threatening to shoot the President.

Which of these “greatest hits” should he be remembered for.

As always vote at the top left hand corner of the page.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Shut-up Stupid Sunday: Protecting Marriage.

First a little house cleaning. If anyone was wondering why I haven't done a Shut-up Stupid Sunday post on the GOP's War on Women, it's because I'm a dude.
That doesn't mean I'm not appalled by what the GOP is saying, I am. Nor does it mean I don't stand behind the brave ladies who are fighting back. I'm a pervert and use any excuse to stand behind ladies.
In the War on Women being a dude means I can best serve in a support role.
I 100% support the women who are fighting the good fight to preserve their equal rights. But women can make their case much better than I could make a case for them. So in response to the GOP's War on Women I will link to a post that lays it out better than I could.
  Left Cheek: Two Tiered Fight

On to today's post: I was talking to a friend the other day about DOMA and stuff, and he asked, How could his marriage in any way be a threat to mine. I was stumped. The biggest threat to my marriage is death.
Roughly 60% of marriages end when one partner dies. I know this is a deal breaker in my marriage. As much as I love my wife, as soon as she dies, her body is out of here. Memories can stay.
So if you want longer marriages do something about people dieing. Far too many people in this country die because of preventable illnesses. This is because access to affordable healthcare is non-existent.

Here is my simple plan: Give everyone affordable access to healthcare and label it, The Longer Marriage Act. 

So to all the people who want to deny some people the right to get married and oppose giving people access to healthcare. I say, “Shut-up Stupid. Someone else's marriage is no threat to mine. Being denied affordable access to healthcare is. You want marriages to last longer, have the people live longer, healthier lives.” By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Learning from the worst.

You probably didn't think it could be done. But I learned something about writing from one of the worst movies ever made.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Monday, April 16, 2012

Best Kiss

Last week's poll ended in a dead heat. Readers couldn't decide if the owner of a broken heart was better than the owner of: A broken car or a Bon Jovi album.

On this we can compromise and say that the owner of a broken heart, who has a broken car with a Bon Jovi album stuck in the CD player really, really needs a hug.

Speaking of hugs and kisses, Here is my latest poll:

Our men and women in uniform go through a lot. Most of them go into service because they have something to protect at home. That is why the homecoming kiss is such an iconic image.

So in this picture of three iconic homecoming embraces which is the most romantic? (I know they all are so it's a tough choice.)

A) The first couple

B) The second couple

C)The third couple

As always vote on the upper left hand corner of the page.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Shut-up Stupid Sunday: Micro-brained-economists

One of the first casualties of the War on Science, didn't get much press but it died needlessly, is the soft science of Macro-Economics.

The only Economist that still talks about Macro-Economic principles in the media is Paul Krugman.

So here is Macro-Economics 101 in 125 words:

When you spend money, someone else earns that money.

Everyone works for poor people. You don't “work” for the person who pays you, you work for the people who buy the product or service your company provides. PERIOD!

The Level 1 Money supply (Cash on Hand) is fixed to the amount of Global Assets. It can't be increased in the short term.
Economic Activity is the Size of the L1 Money Supply times the speed it transfers hands. PERIOD!

L1 Money Supply can only be grown (in the long run) by two activities, greater exploitation of Natural Resources, or, Technological Innovation. PERIOD!

The conditions for Technological Innovation are well known, an educated workforce and a policy that encourages “infant industries”. PERIOD!


Those 125 words cover 90% of what was taught in Macro-Economics 101. The science was killed because it was simple and revealed the liberal bias of reality. Instead the movement is to apply Micro-Economic principles to Macro-Economic problems, and they don't work. Period!

Think of the Economy as a game of poker.

The Macro view of poker is to have fun by having the pot continually shift hands. The Macro objective is to have everyone have fun by alternatively winning and losing hands.

The Micro view (the players objective) is to win.

In the Micro view the player knocks out the other players one by one until they are the only ones playing. Then the game is over.

The economy works the same way, as the pot moves to fewer and fewer hands it slows down and stops being a fun game. If eventually the pot (L1 Money Supply) makes it into one person's hand then, just like the poker game, it's game over.

By applying Micro-Economic strategies to Macro-Economic problems, we make those problems worse.

Larger industries are great for the investors, but bad for the Economy as they slow down the speed money changes hands.

Decreased competition is great for the company, and means higher margins, but bad for the economy as it both slows down the speed money changes hands and discourages technological innovation.

Having a huge “nest egg” is a goal for companies as it ensures their survival in bad times. But bad for the economy as that money is effectively taken out of circulation.

So to all the Micro-Economists that want to apply Micro-Economic solutions to Macro-Economic problems, I say, “Shut-up Stupid, What is good on a small scale is terrible on a large scale. To promote economic activity Macro-Economics offers easy solutions: Put money in the hands of people who will spend it, invest in producing an educated workforce, and foster an economic climate that encourages Infant Industries. Period!”

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Seven Stages I go through writing a novel

Here's a look at what I feel while writing a novel.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Monday, April 9, 2012

Broken Heart Poll

I've unfortunately not been able to get out any polls for the last month. I did try to train a kitten army to rule the world. It turns out that cats already believe they rule the world so they weren't interested in raising an army.
So I had to release a short story.

But I thought up a new poll:

Everyone knows that the owner of a broken heart is much better than the owner of a lonely heart, but is the owner of a broken heart better than:

The owner of a broken car.

The owner of playful puppy

The owner of a Bon Jovi album

The owner of a PC running Vista

As always vote on the upper left hand corner of the page.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Happy Easter, Passover, Spring ect.

No Shut-up Sunday today.

Just a little observation. Easter (Christian), Eastre (Pagan), Ostara (Norse), Passover (Jewish), all occur today. All these religions have set aside this day to celebrate spring.

The greatest thing about this holiday is the religions (mostly) don't even try to hide the fact that they are stealing each others rituals. Christians and Jews go on Easter Egg hunts together. Although after a week of really bad bread the Jews are a bit more enthusiastic. Everyone knows it's a pagan festival and no one cares.

Wouldn't it be great if we could bring this spirit forward to the rest of the year and celebrate the common bonds that humans share and how we can all take joy in the same things, even if later we privately practice our own rituals.

Today is a day to celebrate being human, a enjoying the common bond that we all share.

As my Slacker Friends would say, “Happy Whatever Day!”

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Shut-up Stupid Sunday: Pink Slime, Corn Syrup, and Garbage in food

I've talked about our food supply before, and I'm no back to nature freak. I believe that using the knowledge gained in industrial manufacturing absolutely should be applied in the agricultural setting where it is appropriate.

But there are some parts of industrial manufacturing that shouldn't be brought into our food supply.


In the industrial setting, looking at what you toss out and seeing if you can turn it into a useful product is a great idea. You are basically making a product with free raw materials. You only have to pay for new equipment and labor.

In agriculture this is mostly a horrible idea. Finely Textured Beef, or Pink Slime comes from this idea. They take the parts of the cow that can't (by law) be sold. Connective tissue, Stomach lining that has been exposed to fecal matter, parts of the hide, ect. And bath it in ammonia and take this stuff and put it into ground beef. As long as it makes up less than 15% this is legal and doesn't have to marked. They don't have to label it as: WRETCHED STUFF THE KID YOU KNEW IN HIGH SCHOOL WOULDN'T EAT ON A DARE.

If it is illegal to sell something directly to the consumer at 100% you shouldn't be able to sell any more than what might accidentally make it into the finished product.


If you have a product that works nicely for one market it makes sense to expand into different markets, unless you're talking about food.

Corn Syrup made for a cheap substitute for sugar. It has I slightly different taste, I personally love Pepsi Throwback, but hated Mountain Dew throwback, they used sugar instead of Corn Syrup in those products. If they kept Corn Syrup as a substitute for sugar it would be fine.

To be clear Corn Syrup hasn't been shown to be any more harmful than the same amount of calories form sugar. If it stayed in junk food it would be fine.

But if you look at food labels Corn Syrup is in everything. Things that sugar would never dare show up. Nearly every canned food product has Corn Syrup in it. Canned fruits have corn syrup in them. Fruits are naturally sweet they don't need sweeteners.

So even though Corn Syrup is no worse than sugar, that claim is meaningless as we don't put sugar in every thing we eat. But in pursuing new markets, corn syrup has made it into nearly every part of our diet.

This throws our bodies out of balance. The human body cannot exist on corn syrup alone!

In a manufacturing setting, getting too much garbage into the system fouls the process up, makes it uneconomical and the companies doing it need to change their ways or go bankrupt. In the food supply throwing garbage into the food increases profits and the costs are borne by the consumers and the government in higher health costs. So the profits and costs aren't shouldered by the same people.

So to everyone who says regulating the garbage that is put in the food supply is an attack on freedom, I say, “Shut-up Stupid, the people who are profiting off this aren't the ones who pay the costs that this garbage does. If the food manufacturers had to pay for the health costs that throwing garbage into the food supply causes, you would see them quickly bring our food supply back to a balance that is healthy. Because the profits are individual and the costs are social there is no downside to suppliers making unhealthy food. This stuff needs to be regulated.”

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE