Dumb Answers to S**t people say to writers

Lev Rephael wrote, S**t People Say to writers I thought I'd respond.

Have you been published?

This is when Karen Allen of Raiders of the Lost Ark would shout out, “Indie!”


What do you write?

I mostly take the same 26 letters combine them with punctuation and rearrange them. Sometimes I throw numbers and stuff in as well.


Do you have, like, a real job?

I don't spend a lot of time in the real world.


I don't read much.

That's okay, I use the word, “Much” sparingly.


Do you know Stephen King? What's he like?

Yeah, we hang out all the time.


You should write a book about my life, it's a bestseller for sure.

Really, I was on the FBI's watchlist from the day I was born because Bobby Kennedy brought my dad before the “committee on un-American activities”. Eleven of my last Fourteen Employers went to jail, including one of America's “Top Psychics” who never saw that coming. But I'm sure your life is interesting too.


I'm gonna write someday, when I have free time.

I get my time when it's on sale.


My sister likes to read. Have you written anything she would know?

Just the note I left with the money on her nightstand.


You write novels? I only read stuff that's real.

Next time I'm in reality I'll write about it.


I read your book. It was... interesting.

Disturbing is the word I usually get.


My mother loves your books.

Thanks, Sis.


I've got a great story for you!

Does it involve a time traveling pirate, who has to save the world from the unholy kitten army?

I thought books were dead.

I try to bring my scenes to life.


You should write a screenplay! That's where all the money is.

All of it? Not a cent anywhere else?

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Creepy Lyrics

My last poll surprised me a little. Like all kids when I was young I built some little forts. Like a 12' by 8' log cabin. To do that I needed basic math skills. I've always thought math was important. But thinking about it, having a portion of the population that doesn't know any math won't doom society. But other things kids learn in public schools would.

Work skills – The number of unskilled jobs is shrinking, even most minimum wage jobs need the employees to read. So it got a vote.

Reading – The time when civilization could get by without communicating through reading and writing is long passed. The way people text these days, verbal communication might be dead first.

Social Skills – The home-schoolers who end up pissing themselves because they've never been taught ask where the bathroom is, are very annoying. But homeschooled adults lack social skills as well. I've had to train people and not knowing their skill level I cover everything. Public school education teaches people when being trained something stupid to say, “Okay... I see... I think I can handle that.” I learned in public school that this is a polite way of saying, “Hurry it up, stupid.”

The home-schoolers I've trained never learned these skills and have the attitude that if I know the basics I can get the advanced stuff. Fail miserably and then have to be shown again.

I've known more than my share of people with Asperger's Syndrome, a mental condition where the person can't understand non-verbal language making them seem anti-social. I'd rather deal with them than most home schoolers.

On to the next poll:

I was listening to “Hey, Hey We're the Monkeys” the other day and heard this line:

Anytime, or Anywhere...
Just look over your shoulder...
And we'll be standing there.

I've been paranoid ever since.

I was just getting to the point where I didn't worry Davy Jones was stalking me when Gloria Estefan told me that:

The Rhythm is going to get you.

What did I ever do to it?

Switching over to a more Juliet feel I turned to Garbage #1 Crush:

Violate all The love that I'm missing
Throw away all the pain that I'm living
You will believe in me
And I can never be ignored

Not trying to ignore you, just checking you for weapons.

Maybe I should think more international so I tried a song about Wild Roses, what could be more romantic than that?

Where the Wild Roses Grow:

On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow 
And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief 
As I kissed her goodbye, I said, 'All beauty must die' 
And lent down and planted a rose between her teeth 

Which is creepiest?

As always vote on the upper left hand side of the page.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Shut-Up Stupid Sunday: Anti-Education Movement

Romney was Governor of Massachusetts during the tech boom. Massachusetts had a huge built in advantage during the boom. The little state has over 100 colleges and universities. Harvard, Cambridge, MIT and a few others are known throughout the world.

With an education base like that it would be natural for tech companies to open up in Massachusetts. So Romney cut funding to education by 60%, more than an other state in the union. Massachusetts came in 47th in job growth during the tech boom.

Romney might be a flip-flopper on most issues, but he has been as constant as the northern star on denying the middle class an opportunity to improve themselves.

For the last 30 years the GOP has been nibbling away at the education system in the United States, and the Democrats have let them. The Republicans argue that because the Department of Education budget has grown from over $100 billion in 2006 to its current $68 billion with no improvement in education, it should be cut. Notice how the people who are against education don't know 100 is bigger than 68.

The assault on education reflects the views of Don McLeroy, former Chairman of the Texas State Board of Education who has said, “Someone has to stand up to the Experts!” with all their facts and figures and data and stuff. Why should we teach kids about the world when it is so much easier to believe in whatever reality we care to make.

It's time to change direction and put education as a top priority in this country. Back when education was considered important, and thanks to the GI bill, millions of young people got free educations. We went to the Moon. Now our nation is struggling to make cars that can get people to work without spending their paycheck on gas.

The cost of ignorance is high. The most successful civilization in history was the Roman Empire. At its height the Romans were called a civilization of engineers. They identified problems, transportation, clean water systems, ect and built solutions. They declined as they turned their backs on education. So when the barbarians came as they had for thousands of years, instead of turning to engineers to find ways to get the vast military to fight them, they turned to prayer and prayed God would destroy their enemies. Christianity swept over Europe in what is known as the Dark Age.

So to everyone out there who is against education, I say, “Shut-up Stupid, If you think the cost of education is too high, look at the cost of ignorance. The most successful civilizations in history have one thing in common, they have educated people to identify problems and find solutions. The world's industrial base isn't moving to China and India because of cheap unskilled labor, its moving their because of the huge amounts of skilled labor available. A highly educated workforce is the key to a productive civilization. Cutting education is the quickest way back to the Dark Age.”

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE