A response to Michael Moore from a former Oilman

In his recent post “Goodbye GM” Michael Moore compared the current financial meltdown (the Great Recession, The Great Depression 2.0, or whatever you what to call it) to a war, and he pointed his finger at the bad guys.

“The other front in this war is being waged by the oil companies against you and me. They are committed to fleecing us whenever they can, and they have been reckless stewards of the finite amount of oil that is located under the surface of the earth. They know they are sucking it bone dry. And like the lumber tycoons of the early 20th century who didn't give a damn about future generations as they tore down every forest they could get their hands on, these oil barons are not telling the public what they know to be true -- that there are only a few more decades of useable oil on this planet. And as the end days of oil approach us, get ready for some very desperate people willing to kill and be killed just to get their hands on a gallon can of gasoline.”

As the former Vice-President of an oil company, I can say with authority that the characterization he paints of the oil barons deceiving the public about the amount of oil left on the planet is totally false.

As the oil prices started going through the roof, I responded to critics who were saying that it was all a ploy by oil companies with my article “Why are gas prices so high?” Where I outlined the fact that we as a society have known for over 30 years that we were living on borrowed time as far as having an energy policy that was dependent on oil but instead of addressing the problem we just elected leader like Clinton and Bush who would rather squander away the nations wealth on the useless “War on Drugs” than address the looming crisis of peak oil.

Now Michael, you might say that I am the exception to the rule, the lone whistle-blower in the crowd but I am not.

Matt Simmons of Simmons & Company has been saying for decades that not only are we running out of oil but we have much less than is being reported.

T. Boone Pickens has been running countless ads pushing to reduce oil dependence.

Dave O’Reilly CEO of Chevron said in 2005 “It took us 125 years to use the first trillion barrels of oil. We’ll use the next trillion in 30.“

The heads of oil companies both big and small have been warning the public that demand will outstrip supply but the public has just been putting their fingers in their ears and saying “Na – Na – Na – Na, I can’t hear you.”

So why have oil companies been letting the delusional masses lead them into a policy that we knew was destructive? It was our legal duty.

In order to raise money for an oil project an oilman has to pass the same tests a stockbroker does. You can’t pass those tests without some knowledge of economics, so when you see the investment banks playing games with peoples retirement funds so that long-term growth is sacrificed for short-term gain. It is our fiduciary duty to try to do the best thing we can with our investors money.

If Wall Street is turning its back on long-term growth, we have to offer a course that will maximize short-term gain and that course is to drill like crazy so that we can sell oil when supply out-strips demand like it did last summer our investors can get some quick cash in their pockets to help them survive when Wall Street inevitably crashes.

Michael, it wasn’t that the oil companies were withholding information on peak oil, it was that the message wasn’t getting out to the public. So I ask you: Where were you during this run up to disaster?

Peak oil and the Financial markets sacrificing Long-Term Growth for Short-Term Gain are tough topics for the Mainstream Media to deal with it would need an independent documentary maker with some clout to raise public awareness, but instead of examining the start of the biggest crisis in our lifetimes you were busy examining the role of guns in our society and how roughly 900 people die a year from guns, when I can guarantee you more people will die from having the Investment Banks piss away their life savings than that.

So Michael you can point your finger at me and other oilmen all you want, but remember when you point your finger, your other three fingers are pointing back at you.

Darrell Nelson, former Vice-President of Mountainview Petroleum.

Why are Oil Prices So High?

This article was originally posted on my old site "Project Savior" in 2005, then reposted on Thisisby.us in 2007. It is still relevant today 4 years later.

Why are oil prices so high? It all has to do with priorities, Sure we could have spent a few billion to develop alternative fuels, but that would cut into the 100's of billions we spend to track and arrest people who have consensual sex.

It would also take Chemists, and you need to decide which is more important allowing someone to go to college who has used pot to unwind, just because they might make our country stronger, or turning a third of our citizens into criminals for reasons that have never been explained.

And after all isn't more important to devote more time and research to come up with a drug that cures the problem of people's legs shaking and their butts falling asleep after only sitting in front of the TV for 6 straight hours. Without this vital research people would actually have to stand up and stretch their legs once in awhile. How can idea of keeping the US from turning into a third world nation compete with that.

Isn't it more important that we spend 100's millions of dollars each year to arrest people for what they watch in the privacy of their own homes, than say: Do research into nuclear reactors that have passive safeguards so they aren't dangerous?

And how can letting our economy be dependent on imports from people who want to kill us, compete with the need to harass people who are using a legal substance that has never been shown to harm anyone but the user.

And which is a better way to have energy available, spending a few billion on mass transit systems that could save 2 million barrels of oil, or spending trillions to invade a country that has never produced more than 3 million barrels of oil?

How can we afford to research more fuel efficient cars, when we need to spend billions on labeling, take to trial, and spending money to track thousands of “Sexual Predators” who’s crime was to bonk some teenager when they were barely out of their teens themselves, all because nearly 30 children are sexual abused, outside the home, every year?

It’s all a matter of choice, we could have spent the last 30 years designing and building a national infrastructure that reduced our dependency on oil, and given us a cleaner safer world. But wasn’t so much better to use our money to cultivate a culture of fear by criminalizing non-criminal behavior so the government can spend trillions on “keeping us safe” from the bogeymen that they created to keep us locked in our homes, afraid to go outside at night, afraid of each other, so they can take away our civil rights one by one.

You can see with urgent problems like these that the government needs to spend it's money on, keeping our nation secure by researching alternatives to oil has to take a back burner.

Why should we go to the Moon?

If you’ve followed Project Savior Reborn for any length of time you will know I’m a space geek, it’s rare that I go a week with out writing something about space or a month when I don’t have a link to Bad Astronomy in one of my posts.

I hang out at a lot of sites where stating the idea of going to the Moon is singing to the choir, the idea is so ingrained that we should go to the Moon is so obvious that there is no need discussing it.

Then a wonderful thing happened at Space.com someone broke in a said going to the Moon was a waste of time and it is mankind’s destiny to be confined to the planet Earth.

Naturally I launched a bunch of ad hominem attacks against him and called him a stupid idiot, even though I feel that people who use ad hominem attacks are gay. However I know that some bright people do feel the same way, they just don’t say it on message boards about space.

So I will point out some of the reason that humans should and even have to return to the Moon.

Short-Term:

Technological and Engineering challenge: Tomorrow’s Aerospace Industries rely on the challenges we put today’s students and interns through today. Back in the 80s Ronald Reagan talked about an Asian Express Aircraft.

An Aircraft that could travel at hypersonic speeds from the US to Japan, cutting the transport time from the better part of a day to a few hours.

Now, over twenty years later, we are no closer to building a commercial hypersonic airplane than we were then. The reason: NASA hasn’t been building new rockets, just maintaining the old ones. Rocket configurations need to be tested in the upper atmosphere to see how their thrust adapts up there. Hypersonic jets need to have their thrust adapted to the conditions up there.

A commercial aircraft builder isn’t going to do the extensive testing needed, which because of the engineering challenges would need to have the students from a lot of universities working on it. This open structured research makes it possible to test a lot of variables quickly but means that the results from the tests are pretty much open to everyone. No commercial aircraft builder is going to put forth the billions of dollars needed to do the testing, knowing a rival aircraft builder could use their results to get a plane to the market faster.

NASA is in the reverse position. If they do the upper atmosphere testing and an aircraft maker makes a hypersonic craft they can buy the hypersonic craft to continue research. Plus if they open a new industry in the US it is easier for them to get a larger budget.

New Industries:

The big short-term benefit of going to the Moon is the opening up of new industries. When we first went to the Moon whole new products needed to be produced.

Computers needed to be sped up by several orders on magnitude, parts needed to be put together with unprecedented precision, leading to ISO9000 standards. Even tailoring needed to have a scientific approach in order to assure safety standards on the spacesuits.

In order to return to the Moon and stay there, we will need new industries as well.

Since at optimum every pound of material put into Low Earth Orbit needs to use 24 pounds of fuel to get it there (In reality this is much higher) the quest for lighter materials for space operations is a must.

Research is being done in to Buckypaper (Carbon Nanotubes in a polymer) that is as strong as steel but so light that you could cover an entire football field with it and it would weigh less than a gram.

Transparent Aluminum, something that has only existed in Star Trek and in the form of Emeralds, is now being produced.

Both of these industries are in there infant stages, and at the moment it is cost prohibitive to use these materials in cars or planes, but a robust space program would need these as every pound of steel replaced by these products saves at minimum 24 pounds of fuel, a lot more if it is used in something that is repeatedly sent into space.

With a market for these products, private industry has an incentive to do more research into bringing the costs down, making these products available for more uses, giving more incentive to research more until these products become commonplace.

This will give us more fuel-efficient cars and planes, and lead to new products that can only be dreamt about now. Just as when Aluminum was as expensive as silver, I doubt anyone dreamt of using it for a soda container.

Another industry that will receive a boost from a robust space program would be small scale recycling.

On the Moon (at first) anything brought from Earth would cost literally millions of dollars per pound. You don’t want to bring something all that way just to throw it out. Making a Lunar Outpost will require Extreme Recycling. Everything sent up there will need its entire lifecycle planed out.
After this extreme recycling style is made, few on Earth will take it as far as the Astronauts on the Moon, but some aspects will trickle into the market place, conserving resources here on Earth.

Education:

While the Space Race was going on, millions of American students were inspired to become scientist and engineers. As it became obvious that America was abandoning the great plans NASA had for space, the students in the 70’s and 80’s took down their model of Skylab, took Neil Armstrong’s picture off the wall. Stopped working out orbital mechanics of the planets and turned their energies towards developing the most awesome mullet that anyone had ever seen. (OK maybe that was just me.)

While girls would sleep with me just because of my awesome mullet, part of me will always wonder, if I had spent the energy that I put into developing my mullet and put it into designing a new spacecraft, would humans be colonizing the rest of the solar system by now? We will never know the answer to that, but if we can inspire a generation of youth to master the solar system, it might stop the 30% dropout rate among students.

Medium Term (The next 50 years)

He3:

Helium 3 has the potential to make fusion power a reality. He3 extremely rare here on Earth, but plentiful on the Moon. Fusion Power could not only free us from fossil fuels, but it would open up the rest of the solar system.

It is no secret that oil has peaked, it took us 125 years to burn through our first trillion barrels of oil, we will go through the next trillion in 25 years. At the current rate of growth in consumption we would need an addition 3 trillion barrels of oil to get through the next 50 years. No estimates, no matter how optimistic, assume the Earth has that much oil.

Not only do we need to conserve as much energy as we can and use renewable sources whenever possible but we will need a true replacement for fossil fuels, only fusion offers to be that replacement for the next millennia.

Fusion from He3 hasn’t been proven yet, but if we don’t have access to an abundant supply we can’t even do the necessary testing to see if it He3 fusion can give off more energy than it uses. The longer we wait to do the groundwork the longer it will be until we get results.

Space Infrastructure:

One argument against NASA going to the Moon is that with the success of Virgin Galactic and SpaceX, space should be left to private industries. This is a false dichotomy, as NASA operates a Lunar Colony it opens up opportunities for private space industry.

The ISS will need to be a stepping-stone for the initial lunar operations. It is too small to do this alone and NASA will need to use its rockets for the actual Lunar Colony. This gives private industries an opportunity to contract some of the launches to the ISS and beyond.

NASA will need to train its astronauts in low and zero gee, Virgin Galactic is in a perfect position to contract some of these training flights both in its version of the vomit comet and in SpaceShip Two. Having a full 7 minutes of weightlessness is the best training for long-term weightlessness.

NASA will also need to have more astronauts in Low Earth Orbit, If Bigelow Aerospace knows it will have a contract for hosting a few astronauts in its space hotel it will have incentive to build more.

As private industry steps up to fill NASA’s needs in Low Earth Orbit, NASA can contract that work out. Just like the Federal Government uses commercial airlines for flying even though it has a huge fleet of its own jets.

With a robust space program mining the Moon private industry can take over Low Earth Orbit operation until companies are ready to set up their own bases on the Moon.

Long-Term

The Earth is not going to be perfect for humans forever. A huge solar flare could set the atmosphere on fire, a large comet could send the ecosystem out of whack. In 5 billion years the Sun will turn into a Red Dwarf consuming our humble planet.

Humans will perish if we don’t go into space. By spreading out throughout the Solar System it will take more than one of these events to completely destroy humanity. Space is humanities destiny, if we stay only on Earth we shall die.

Explaining the economic meltdown to my bank.

This is an actual conversation I had with a bank representative. I’d like to think he wasn’t a representative sample of the people who work in the banking industry, unfortunately I know that he is.

I have changed the names of the bank and the representative, edited out the irrelevant parts of the conversation, and of course added links so that the reader doesn’t have to just rely on my word and degree in economics but the conversation was real.

“Mr Nelson, This is Mike from Big ol’ Bank.” The voice on phone said after I identified myself. “I’m calling about your Mastercard account which is about to go into charge off status.”

“Well that sucks.” I responded.

“Um, yes it does.” Mike replied. “You borrowed $1,000 of the bank’s money and we would like it back.”

“It wasn’t the bank’s money.” I stated.

“Yes it was!” Mike replied indignantly.

“No it wasn’t.” Giving him a rebuttal I had learned in kindergarten before continuing. “You see when I deposit $1,000 dollars of actual cash into your bank, you turn around and lend $900 of that money to borrowers in secured loans. You know, loans backed up by tangible goods like cars and homes.

“The sellers of these goods then deposit the money in your bank or others like it and the process is repeated. So my $1,000 then becomes $10,000 as it goes through other people’s hands. This process is called the Money Multiplier.

“Having created $10,000 in new money that is backed by real goods, your bank goes through and looks at the value of those goods and issues credit cards and unsecured loans based on how much stuff people have bought with borrowed money. This new money isn’t based on anything in reality so the bank charges more for it.

“It goes through the same Money Multiplier and becomes $100,000 in new money. The bank is relying on enough of the people taking out credit to continue to expand the money supply so that enough new money comes back to them to continue to write unsecured loans based on future money.

“Unfortunately, even though this new money isn’t backed by anything tangible, it is still based on people’s tangible assets and for the last 10 years the United States has not only not been creating more real wealth, you know tangible items that will be around for a while like cars and planes based on new types of designs, infrastructure programs like renewable energy projects, and new transportation systems, but the pool of money at the bottom has been shrinking. With public investment in Research and Development in relation to GDP (Gross Domestic Product) slashed to half its rate as it was in the 1960s. With no new sources of wealth have being created, banks like yours needed to find a new way to expand the Money Supply.

“Naturally, they could have lent money to innovative companies that were developing new products so that more real wealth was created making a larger pie for everyone, but they couldn’t be sure how much of the bigger pie they would get. So instead they created a new market that was one-step father away from reality with Mortgage Backed Securities.

“These securities, are not backed on the actual physical property, but on the future payments made by the borrower. The curious property of these securities is that they promise to pay back the money based on the idea that in the future (which is now) mortgages will be riskier so the payments will be higher, but were promised to have the security of a market that is expanding. In reality it was the opposite, they paid at the lower rate of interest of a growing market and had the risk of a down turned market.

“Using this new form of imaginary money banks like yours were able to run this through the Money Multiplier and turn the $100,000 that is based on my original $1,000 into $1,000,000.

“As this whole house of cards began groaning under the weight of having $1,000,000 being propped up by only $1,000, banks like yours started having people take out more and more of their savings, the bottom of this inverted pyramid, to make payments on their loans, the top of this structure.

“A responsible money manager would consider it part of their fiduciary duty to look at this trend and stop putting investors money into these schemes, but instead banks like yours treated it as an opportunity to get short term growth at the expense of the people’s whose money they were managing by creating Default Credit Swaps.

“This created more money by gambling on bad debt. Banks like yours tried to grow the original $1,000 dollars I put into your bank into $10,000,000 that was based on basically thin air.

“Playing with someone else’s money like that is being negligent in your Fiduciary responsibility at best, criminal at worst. But people like you created their own delusional reality and said ‘hey, its our money we can do whatever we want to with it.’

“Taking this idea one step further Bernie Madoff and others like him simply skipped the idea of even loosely basing their money creation schemes on real tangible assets and just made stuff up. Since money managers like your bank stopped looking out for the people who entrusted you with their money a long time ago no one bothered to look over their schemes, banks like yours figured it was a way to grow that $1,000 into $100,000,000.

“Unfortunately, you can only deny reality for so long, and this whole house of cards started falling down. When it did people lost their jobs and started using their money – and it was their money, not yours like you claim – to buy things like food. This removed the part of your whole scheme that actually had some basis in reality, so suddenly the real wealth that the $100,000,000 was based on was pulled out and banks like yours started scrambling to grab the one millionth of a percent of the real money that economy had been based on for the last ten years.

“So you can claim that that money was yours until you are blue in the face, the reality is that the money never existed, it was figment based on your banks word that if something happened you would use the money that people trusted you with, to make good on it.”

“But you borrowed the money,” Mike told me. “The bank was counting on you to pay it back.”

“Maybe in the fantasyland that you live in, Mike.” I corrected him again. “But in the real world things work a little different.

“I gambled that money. I took the risk that my economic condition would stay the same or get better. I was wrong. It got a lot worse.

“Now if my gamble had paid off, I would have been more than happy to share the rewards with your bank, but since it didn’t I’m asking you to share the pain.”

“The bank didn’t give you that money to gamble with.” Mike said.

“Of course it did.” I countered. “If the bank wasn’t prepared to lose the money they wouldn’t charge interest. The high interest payments on the unsecured loans reflect the fact that some of them are going to go into default and the bank will never see that money again. I accepted that if I used that money and my gamble paid off, I’d have to give the bank a large share of the reward, I have done that in the past and your bank gladly took the money. This time it didn’t pan out that way and the bank needs to accept the loss.

“To expect to share in the reward if something goes well, and share no part of the loss if it doesn’t, isn’t banking its highway robbery.

“So Mike, are you saying that you are just some common thug who goes around stealing from people?”

“But the bank lent you that money.” Mike said ignoring my question. “How would you feel if someone took $1,000 of your money and didn’t pay you back?”

“Well, from the perspective of the strange alternate reality that you live in, Mike.” I answered trying to put things in terms he would understand. “I lent you several million dollars that never got paid back to me.”

“You did not!” Mike exclaimed defensively.

“Did too, too, too, too, too.” I said, countering his kindergarten level rebuttal with a rebuttal I learned in 1st grade, before explaining. “I’m sure you are aware of the TARP or Troubled Asset Relief Program,your bank gladly took hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars. Money that I will be paying in taxes for decades.

“The idea behind TARP was that your bank, and others like it would use that money to replace the money at the bottom that people are taking out now to use to feed themselves. That money was entrusted with you so that you could lend it out and start the money creation process up again, not at the level it was with people trying to turn $1,000 into $100,000,000 but at least to give people confidence back in your bank after you screwed people over acting like their money was your own personal play money.

“Instead of your bank using that money in a responsible way, it took a large share of it and gave it to the very people who started this mess as bonuses for doing such a great job in screwing the country over. The rest of it you hoarded in low rate of return investments. So your bank had no problem giving money to wildest hare-brained schemes imaginable when they were using other peoples money, when they got a gift of a truckload of money and told to risk it, they suddenly got conservative and put it into investments that pay out so slowly my grandchildren won’t be seeing a return on the money.

“And you have the gall to sit there and brag about how all that money is yours when it comes from hard working people who build things of value trying to create some wealth in this country, while you play games and destroy everything that we have built in this country.

“Shame on you Mike. I don’t know how you sleep at night.”

“Mr. Nelson.” Mike shouted. “Are you going to pay this money back or not?”

“Listen Mike I don’t appreciate you taking that tone with me.” I scolded him. “You called my house, and have been taking up my time with your delusional ranting, I demand that you be at least a little respectful.

“To answer your question. In your little bizarre alternate reality, where up is down and right is left, how would someone pay anything?”

“We can do a check by phone.” Mike said happily.

“How can we do that?” I asked. “In your warped reality any money I put in a bank is the bank’s money. So according to you, if I put the $1,000 into a checking account and did a check by phone you wouldn’t get the money because it stopped being my money as soon as the bank got their hands on it.

“You see how reality starts getting in the way of your delusions, Mike.

“I tell you what, Why don’t we do this? Since you are clearly working in make believe land why don’t I give you an imaginary $1,000 that you can put in your imaginary account. Then everyone will be happy, I imagine.”

Next week I will post the second part of my conversation with my bank where we discuss the difference between real laws and imaginary laws.

The financial meltdown as explained by Sean Penn

In the last eight years the economy was driven by “Trickle Down” theory which means that bankers and the smarmy pundits in the Bush Adminstrations pocket – those who bathe in the moisture of his soiled and blood-soaked underwear, would shake off the moisture on the rest of us.

As the investors turned their backs on the manufacturers whose hard work, sweat and tears bathed the nation in the cleaning purity of American pride and allowed everyone to eat from the fruits of their labors, and instead embraced the bankers and smarmy pundits so they could lick their butts to receive the drops of moisture left over from Bush’s soiled and blood-soaked underwear.

After eight years of squeezing the American Workers to gain more blood for the soiled and blood-soaked underwear at the cost of their jobs making the fruits of American labor rot on the vine as the American sweat dried up and was replaced by the moisture of soiled and blood-soaked underwear.

With no fruit the American Workers blood became thick no longer supplying enough moisture to allow the bankers and smarmy pundits to bathe in the moisture of Bush’s soiled and blood-soaked underwear.

Investors continued try to lick off the moisture from the bankers and smarmy pundits butts, however their asses were dry as they got no American Workers Blood to moisten their soiled and blood-soaked underwear.

Now it is urgent we return to eating the fruit that has been grown from the sweat of American labor and no longer rely on the moisture of Bush’s soiled and blood-soaked underwear.

The financial crisis explained in alconomic terms:

This little story was emailed to me, the sad part is it is a good analogy of the financial meltdown.
I don’t know who the original author is.

The financial crisis explained in alconomic terms:

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Kansas City. In order to increase sales,
she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed
alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks
consumed on a ledger, thereby effectively granting her customer’s loans.

Word gets around and as a result, increasing numbers of customers pour
into Heidi's bar.

Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment
constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the
most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank
recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases
Heidi's credit limit.

He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the
alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these
customer assets into “Drinkbonds”, “Alkbonds” and “Pukebonds”. These
securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really
understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are
guaranteed. Nevertheless, as the exchange prices continue to climb, the
securities become top-selling items.

On Wall Street the Bank’s shares climb as they have managed to rid themselves of risky loans, they look to invest the money somewhere and they see that “Drinkbonds”, “Alkbonds” and “Pukebonds” are top selling securities so they invest heavily in them.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the
bank (subsequently, of course, fired due his negativity) decides
that eventually the time has come to call in the debts incurred by
the drinkers at Heidi's bar.

However they cannot pay off their debts.

Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and files for bankruptcy.

Drinkbond and Alkbond drop in value by 95%.; Pukebond holds up
a little better, bottoming out at 80% of its former value.

The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment
deadlines and having invested in the securities, are faced with a new
situation. Her wine supplier files for bankruptcy, and her beer supplier
is taken over by a competitor.

The bank is bailed out by the Government after dramatic round-the-clock
consultations with leaders of the principal political parties. With the new influx of money the bank gives out huge bonuses to the geniuses who saved their company by getting a Government to bail them out.

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by levying a tax on
non-drinkers.

Got it now?

Hey, Jim Cramer

For anyone who hasn’t been following the diatribe of a madman, when the Dow went down after Obama’s first budget bill passed congress, Jim Cramer and most of CNBC went crazy(er) and started screaming that that was Wall Street reacting badly to the bill.

Jon Stewart gave him a lovely tribute by showing some of Cramer’s great advise, like to hold on to Bear-Sterns days before it tanked and to buy it seven weeks before it tanked.

Today Obama signed that budget bill and the Stock Market went up.

Is Jim Cramer going to use his previous logic and say that Wall Street now likes Obama’s budget?

Or is he going to admit that the Dow is just an arbitrary sampling of a few random companies and its day-to-day fluctuations don’t mean anything about the direction of the economy, it’s only a useful indicator over the long term?

I would like to see he spins this, but that would mean I’d have to watch his show.

Job Personality Tests.

If you’ve been looking for a job recently you’ve undoubtedly run into the latest Personnel Department Frankenstein’s monster, the personality test.

This thing is a complete joke but unfortunately numerous companies use them.
The problem with them is they don’t look to see if you would be a good employee, the old fashion looking over a persons resume and checking their references is a better way to do that. They check to see how well you fall for the corporate propaganda.

In order to do that they separate people into two types. The best example of the two types of people they look at would be the Dave Lettermen/Bill O’Rielly interview. In that interview Bill asked Dave, “Do you want to see us win in Iraq?” Dave gave a thoughtful answer comparing the cost to the US of continuing the war vs. the impact of the US withdrawing would mean.

Bill asked him the same question again, “Do you want to see us win in Iraq?” and followed it up with “Yes or No.”

Dave replied, “I can’t give you a Yes or No to a question that requires some thought, because I’m a thoughtful type of guy.”

Now you would think that a company would be looking for someone like Dave that would carefully think over their actions to make sure they aren’t costing the company huge amounts of money, but from what I’ve read they seem to be looking for the Bill O’Rielly type, someone who just reacts with no thought to the costs of that action.


Disclaimer: I have taken the personality tests over 50 times in the past few months and haven’t passed.


From what I’ve read (and what some companies have told me) they measure the speed of the test and the Strongly (ratio) giving people who strongly agree or disagree with a statement very quickly more weight than someone who carefully reads the question and then gives a measured answer.

If this is the type of person companies have been hiring over the past decade due to these tests, you would think that American Companies would just follow whatever the latest fad was that offered short term profits and not look at the long term costs that it could cost the company. With an attitude like that you would expect those companies to cheerfully join the charge and run at full speed right off the nearest cliff with no one taking the time to think for a second if it was a good idea.

As they run head long off that cliff I can picture them saying to each other, “How did this happen? The fundamentals of the economy are strong.”

In case you couldn’t guess I really hate those tests.

How to bust a Union

Recently AIG received $25 Billion from the bailout and used it to sponsor adds opposing the Employee Free Choice Act. That means that taxpayer money is being used to attack unions. If my money is going to be used to attack unions, I feel it is my duty to see that it is used wisely. So I will let companies in on the secret of how to stop a union from forming in their company.

1) The first step in keeping a union from forming in a company is to have a written, comprehensive grievance procedure that everyone from the newest hire to the company president vows to follow.
By having a written grievance procedure employees know that they won’t be punished randomly at the whim of any manager, it leads to having clearly defined rules on the work floor and the ability to have a third party look over any gray areas in the work rules.
Many companies complain that written grievance procedures get in the way of having managers randomly punish workers on a whim.

2) The next step in keeping out a union is to encourage employee’s to give ideas to help the company. Not only does this generate good ideas from time to time, but it makes employees feel like they are contributing to the success of the company and gives them loyalty to the company.
Some companies complain that this fosters a sense of togetherness making it harder for the managers to boast about their ideas.

3) Establish clear-cut goals and plans to reach those goals, then let all the employees know about those goals and plans. This lets employees know what they are working to do and what their part in the plan is. It shows them what exactly the company wants them to do and a concrete goal to reach.
Some managers worry that the workers will not need to be micro-managed and the front line managers will need to find new things to do.

4) Reward employees for hitting the goals laid out for them. This shows them that the company actually values the work they did.
Some companies fear that if they show their workers that they value the work that was done it might misinterpreted as meaning that they respect their workers.

5) Reward long service. By having employees work for the company for a long time the routine tasks get handled effortlessly and more time can be devoted to innovations.
Some Companies worry if a worker sticks around to long they will begin acting like they are entitled to be there.

6) Have multiple paths for career advancement. This makes employees fall into the roles that work best for their individual personalities. It lets individuals rise to the level of responsibility that fits them best, rather than have a one size fits all career path where people rise to the highest level of their incompetence and stay there.
Many managers feel comfortable at their current level of incompetence.

7) Finally, do everything possible to treat every employee in the company with the dignity and respect due to a co-worker working with you to achieve a common goal.
Many managers feel that doing that is the exact opposite of why they got into management.

Those are 7 steps a company can follow to keep a union from forming. There are many companies whose upper management feel that treating their workers like human beings is an impossible goal.
For those companies, my only advise is to follow Home Depot and AIG’s example and run your company into the ground then cry like Home Depot’s CEO, Bernie Marcus, that giving workers the right to join a union “… is the demise of a civilization,”.

Dealing with Collection Agencies (Part 1)

In these tough economic times, millions of people are falling behind on their bills. To make it even tougher banks and utilities are feeling the squeeze as well and many are turning to hardball tactics in a misguided attempt to make money.
In this post I will detail what you should do if you are unable to pay your bills in full and lay the groundwork for dealing with your credit card companies and ways to keep the debt from going to a Collection Agency. Or to have more weapons at your disposal should a debt eventually go to a collection agency.
In my next post I will deal with what to do ff a collection agency contacts you over a debt. Remember knowledge is power; there are ways to deal with collection agencies, especially ones that take hardball tactics to far.

Step 1:
Make a budget; find out exactly how much you can spend on what.
If you don’t know what you can spend you can’t make proper decisions.

Step 2:
Prioritize your bills.
First: Make sure you have food, rent or mortgage, electricity, heat and a way to get to work. If you rely on a car to go to work (99% of people) make sure you have money to pay for insurance, gas and maintenance and payments (if you have any).
Second: a primary Phone, Internet, and basic TV service (cable, satellite). The TV and Internet may seem like luxuries but they are about the cheapest forms of entertainment available if you par it down to the most basic package.
Third: 5% of your income to set aside for emergencies. If you don’t have this minor unexpected expenses can spiral out of control.
Finally: Credit Cards and unsecured loans. Figure out how much you can pay on these and don’t take money from the other bills to pay them.
Once you’ve figured out how much you can pay on the credit cards you are in a position to start dealing with your creditors.

Step 3: Negotiate with your creditors.
Once you know how much you can pay, you can call your creditors and work out a payment plan. If the credit card company refuses to negotiate and wants more than you have budgeted, it’s their loss. If you made a good faith effort to handle your bill and they refuse to accept payments you can live with then they deserve to lose the money they loaned you. Don’t ever agree to pay more than what you have budgeted. This is just throwing money away as you will not be able to continue to make those payments in the future.
If a credit card company doesn’t except your good faith offer to make payment arrangements, spread the money in your budget around to those who will.
One thing to avoid when dealing with creditors is automatic withdrawals from your checking account, this is a deal breaker. If you are having trouble paying your bills, there is no way you can keep an adequate safety cushion of funds to avoid overdrafts. Between the creditor and your bank it is impossible to tell when the bill will hit, and if your luck is like mine, it will hit on the day that your balance goes $0.02 below what the bill is for. The overdraft fees will kill your ability to continue paying your bills.

Step 4: The Collection Calls.
The companies that refused to negotiate with you will start to call you. The way to deal with them is to restate how much you have budgeted to pay that bill. If they refuse to take it there is no use talking to them. No matter what stick to your guns and don’t promise to pay more than you have budgeted, it will end up costing you more in the long run.
The easiest way to deal with these calls is simply state: “I can only afford $X.XX amount a month, can you do that?”
If they say no, the response is: “Then there is no point speaking further, Goodbye.”
A good collection agent will politely determine if you are serious and give you a name and number to call if things get better for you. The bad collectors will try and get you to commit to something you can’t afford.
The main tactic they will use is to act like a jerk and bring you down to their level, then win through experience.
If you are confident that you can be a bigger jerk than they are (remember they spend at least 8 hours a day practicing) go ahead and get into a contest with them, just remember whether you engage them or not, after they turn down your offer to pay the rest of the call is pointless.

Step 5: Stopping the bill from going to a Collection Agency.
After negotiations fail and a bill goes unpaid for 4 months it will be turned over to a collection agency. If you’re financial situation is temporary and you need to stall for time, or you just want to give the company a hard time collecting look on the back of your bill to billing rights summary. It will have an address to send disputes. Write them a letter disputing something, anything. Ask them how the late fee was determined, if the interest rate is over 18% dispute it on the grounds of state usury laws (most states don’t allow companies to charge more than 18% for consumer loans). It doesn’t matter if the dispute has merit, as long as the bill is in dispute it cannot be sent to a Collection Agency until they respond to that dispute. If they do you can sue them.

Eventually, an unpaid bill will go to a Collection Agency, I will detail in my next post how to deal with them.

A Strange Phone Call

This is the transcript of a strange phone call I received this morning, I’ve change my name to make me feel comfortable, but the rest of the transcript is real.

Caller: May I speak to Project Savior.

PS: Speaking.

Caller: Hi, My name is Julie and I am calling from National City about your Visa.

PS: Hi Julie, I’m not planning on traveling out of the country.

Caller: What are you talking about?

PS: Since I am not going to travel out of the country, why would I need a Visa?

(Silence)

Caller: Are you done speaking?

PS: I was waiting for you to answer my question.

Caller: What are you talking about? I’m calling about you Visa Credit Card.

PS: I’m sorry, I thought you were calling about my travel documents.

Caller: What are you talking about? Are you an Adult?

PS: I’ve got Pubes.

Caller: Are you sure?

PS (Zipper sound): Yep. How ‘bout you?

Caller: How ‘bout me what? I was calling about the fact that you are four months behind on your credit card.

(Silence)

Caller: Are you done speaking?

PS: I was waiting for you to ask a question.

Caller: Is there someone in your house that can explain to you what I am saying?

PS: Just my cat.

Caller: What are you talking about? Are you an Adult?

PS: Well I’m not gonna send you a picture, unless you send one first.

Caller: What are you talking about? If we can’t resolve this we may have to start legal action.

PS: So you admit to taking illegal action?

Caller: What are you talking about?

PS: You said, you “may have to start legal action”. That implies all the action you’ve taken so far is illegal action.

Caller: We haven’t taken any action.

PS: So this account has been inactive?

Caller: What are you talking about? Do you think this is a joke?

PS: I’m just trying to understand what you’re talking about.

(Silence)

Caller: Are you done talking?

PS: I was waiting for you to explain what you’re talking about.

Caller: You know what I’m talking about.

(Silence)

Caller: Are you done talking?

PS: I was waiting for you to ask a question.

Caller: I’m hanging up now, Bye!

PS: OK, bye… does this mean you’re not going to send an adult picture? Hello? Hello?


I wonder what she wanted?
Do you think I should call her?
Her name is Julie and her number is 1-800-544-3623 ext: 34651