In my last poll I asked about creepy song lyrics. The Monkeys, #1 Crush and Where the Wild Roses Grow all got a vote. No one worried that the Rhythm was going to get them. I've got some brave readers.
Some people in RL asked, what about that song from the Police?
Which one?
Um, any of them.
I didn't add the Police because they pretty much have creepy covered. Stalking, Pedophilia, Femdom, Cuckholdry, Domnicide, Love sick suicide. I really think they broke up because they ran out of creepy things to put in their albums.
Stephanie asked what about Barney? Being the friend you don't tell mom about.
That is pretty creepy. But I only know the twisted lyrics that kids used to sing.
I love you, you love me.
Homosexuality.
People say, We are friends.
But we're really lesbians.
In that vein, todays poll is about homo-erotic religions.
Which ritual is the most homo-erotic?
Christianity – You are asked to get on your knees and take the body of a man into your mouth.
Muslim – You go into a room for men only, form a line, get on your knees and put your butt in the air.
Buddhism – After a good round of stretching, you kneel down and put your head on the ground.
Unitarianism – Homosexuals get married, spend the rest of their lives together complaining about their jobs, that there is nothing on TV, and worry about their lawns.
As always vote on the upper left hand side of the page.
By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Shut-up Stupid Sunday: Gay haters are closet homosexuals
There is an old study that surfaces on progressive web sites from time to time that “proves” people who hate gays are really closet homosexuals. The problem with this is it was a flawed study. In reality not all the haters are sexually repressed. Some of them are just assholes and some are ignorant. I bet they are glad I'm defending them.
The study was done in the 60s and monitored men, who said they were anti-gay, as they watched a gay porno. Researchers found that the subjects heart rates increased, and their scrotum hardened just like if they were aroused. However that is the same reaction that a person gets when angry.
To make the study even more flawed, it was done in the sixties. Film costs were high, $100,000 for a cheap film. Distribution was limited. Gay pornos of the time needed to all out hardcore to get guys in the theater. The subjects were showing disgust, not arousal.
Most of the gay pornos of the time only still exist in college psych departments. A recent study that used these old films “showed” self-identified bisexuals preferred straight sex. Then they looked at what they were comparing. Modern DVD's from Vivid vs. the old stock they had from the sixties. They found even gay men didn't like films of two ugly dudes humping away without even saying, “hi” to each other. Go figure.
When comparing modern gay pornos to modern straight pornos they found bisexuals had similar responses. All the old study found out was that gay films, that most gays found disgusting, were disgusting to people who are anti-gay.
Looking at speeches by Focus on the Family's Bryan Fischer saying, “Gays have an average of 500 partners... (That's an average some are slackers and only have 200, some go all out and have 800)...and have sex in public bathrooms and parks...(so do hetros)...” you have to wonder if he is giving an anti-gay speech or pitching his latest slash-fic story. I'd seriously hate to be in the front row of one of his speeches. If he gets too excited about the horrors of “the gays” it would be like a Gallagher concert. Everyone hiding behind plastic sheets.
Guys like that really do have to worry that gay marriage will threaten their straight marriage. You know this dude can't get it up unless he is complaining about all the imagined things that “the gays” are doing in the bedroom. I just really hope his wife is into slash-fic as he describes all the things “the gays” are doing while he boffs her.
But a lot of the haters aren't closeted homosexuals like Fischer or Marcus Bachmann who believes all you have to do to get rid of “the gay” is get on your knees and take the body of a man in your mouth. A lot of them are just assholes.
The same people who are bullies in school take that attitude with them into adult life. They think as long as they have someone to look down on it builds them up. They are wrong, but that's the thinking.
Most anti-gay people aren't haters at all, just ignorant. I mean that in the nicest possible way.
The same people that will vote against gay marriage have no idea that gay people don't have the minimum civil protections in this country. Most of them simply don't know that in most of the country a person can be fired or evicted from an apartment, just for being gay. That is why the gay rights movement gained ground so quickly, the majority of people didn't know this and once they started learning about it they were shocked.
So to all progressive friends who stumble on the old studies from the sixties “showing” that gay haters are repressed homosexuals, I say (with all respect), “Shut up Stupid, that study is seriously flawed. The people who publicly hate gays are a combination of sexually repressed people and assholes that want to be bullies. You aren't going to reach these people pointing out a flawed study. The vast majority of people, even those in the anti-gay movement, simply don't know that gays aren't given the minimum civil protections granted to everyone else. Once the supporters of anti-gay legislation learn about that, they stop supporting the mental cases who either read their slash-fic publicly or are just bullies. Once those people see no one stands behind them they can go get the mental health help they need.”
By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE
The study was done in the 60s and monitored men, who said they were anti-gay, as they watched a gay porno. Researchers found that the subjects heart rates increased, and their scrotum hardened just like if they were aroused. However that is the same reaction that a person gets when angry.
To make the study even more flawed, it was done in the sixties. Film costs were high, $100,000 for a cheap film. Distribution was limited. Gay pornos of the time needed to all out hardcore to get guys in the theater. The subjects were showing disgust, not arousal.
Most of the gay pornos of the time only still exist in college psych departments. A recent study that used these old films “showed” self-identified bisexuals preferred straight sex. Then they looked at what they were comparing. Modern DVD's from Vivid vs. the old stock they had from the sixties. They found even gay men didn't like films of two ugly dudes humping away without even saying, “hi” to each other. Go figure.
When comparing modern gay pornos to modern straight pornos they found bisexuals had similar responses. All the old study found out was that gay films, that most gays found disgusting, were disgusting to people who are anti-gay.
Looking at speeches by Focus on the Family's Bryan Fischer saying, “Gays have an average of 500 partners... (That's an average some are slackers and only have 200, some go all out and have 800)...and have sex in public bathrooms and parks...(so do hetros)...” you have to wonder if he is giving an anti-gay speech or pitching his latest slash-fic story. I'd seriously hate to be in the front row of one of his speeches. If he gets too excited about the horrors of “the gays” it would be like a Gallagher concert. Everyone hiding behind plastic sheets.
Guys like that really do have to worry that gay marriage will threaten their straight marriage. You know this dude can't get it up unless he is complaining about all the imagined things that “the gays” are doing in the bedroom. I just really hope his wife is into slash-fic as he describes all the things “the gays” are doing while he boffs her.
But a lot of the haters aren't closeted homosexuals like Fischer or Marcus Bachmann who believes all you have to do to get rid of “the gay” is get on your knees and take the body of a man in your mouth. A lot of them are just assholes.
The same people who are bullies in school take that attitude with them into adult life. They think as long as they have someone to look down on it builds them up. They are wrong, but that's the thinking.
Most anti-gay people aren't haters at all, just ignorant. I mean that in the nicest possible way.
The same people that will vote against gay marriage have no idea that gay people don't have the minimum civil protections in this country. Most of them simply don't know that in most of the country a person can be fired or evicted from an apartment, just for being gay. That is why the gay rights movement gained ground so quickly, the majority of people didn't know this and once they started learning about it they were shocked.
So to all progressive friends who stumble on the old studies from the sixties “showing” that gay haters are repressed homosexuals, I say (with all respect), “Shut up Stupid, that study is seriously flawed. The people who publicly hate gays are a combination of sexually repressed people and assholes that want to be bullies. You aren't going to reach these people pointing out a flawed study. The vast majority of people, even those in the anti-gay movement, simply don't know that gays aren't given the minimum civil protections granted to everyone else. Once the supporters of anti-gay legislation learn about that, they stop supporting the mental cases who either read their slash-fic publicly or are just bullies. Once those people see no one stands behind them they can go get the mental health help they need.”
By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE
Friday, May 11, 2012
Fun with Shorts
I'm going to try and start a new feature on Project Savior, who knows how well it will go.
One of the quotes that really inspires me is this:
Here’s to the crazy ones. The rebels. The troublemakers. The ones who see things differently. While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do. - Apple's 1984 commercial "Think Different"
I'm going to start reviewing the works of the crazy ones. The ones who see things differently.
To start off, I'll look at the works of Josh Way.
If you're a MST3K fan, you will love his work. If you aren't you'll look at this short and go, “huh?”
MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000) riffed really bad movies. Later the team started rifftrax and make sound tracks that pick on popular movies.
Josh Way is a fan who started doing his own riffing of Public Domain Shorts. I find them super funny. So I will review them.
Fun With Shorts: Tomorrow’s Drivers, Narrated by Jimmy Stewart!
The short itself:
The big thing about this Jam Handy production is Jimmy Stewart must have owed someone a favor because he does the voice over. A big win for Jam Handy and whatever students and teachers that had to watch this thing. A bit of a loss for people making fun of it. Stewart does manage to bring what would be a horrible short up to mediocre.
Josh's riff:
Josh has fun with this, but the short isn't as bad as most Jam Handy Productions. So he has less to work with. My favorite line was:
Stewart: The club gives the older boys a place to release their youthful energy.
Josh: Eewww!
Overall:
Josh makes this short funny, but since the short is mediocre instead of dreadful it's not the best Fun with Shorts. Still it's entertaining.
In the coming weeks I'll review some of the ones that were a lot funnier.
By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE
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