Buying Book Review Poll

First off I'd like to thank everyone for naming the world's newest Supervillianess. With Commando Cuddle on the loose no lap is safe from being plundered. And all the cries of “Don't tread on me!” won't stop her from treading.

On to the next poll:

There has been a lot of talk about buying book reviews and using false names to give competition lower reviews.

I have a confession to make. I gave my minions a can of tuna to give my books good reviews. This would have been more effective if they: A) could write. B) had a computer. That would have been a waste of a buck if they didn't pay me back in hugs.

As far giving the competition bad reviews through fake names. I've been tempted to make a bunch of fake accounts and tell that hack William Shakespeare: Enough with the Iambic Pentameter already. And, When are you going to write something new? But A) I'm too lazy. B) With millions of books out even if you keep someone from reading one book you've only changed your odds to 1 in 999,999 that a person will read yours.

There is being an unethical business-person, and then there is being a shitty person. Trashing someone's work for a tiny increase in the odds, is using unethical business practices to justify being a shitty person. Not the greatest justification.

So how do you rate fake reviews?

A) 16 stars out of 5
B) 1 Brown Dwarf Star
C)Negative Infinity
D) Couldn't Care Less

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Shut-up Stupid Sunday: Four Years ago

In his convention speech, Mitt Romney asked, “Are you better off than you were 4 years ago?” I don't know if Mitt is better off, seriously I have no idea, he won't release his tax returns from 4 years ago.

Romney sees absolutely no problem asking something that he won't personally answer.

For me four years ago really sucked. I found out what my house was worth at that time, Zero! I found out what a 850 credit score was worth then, Zero!

As a former Vice-President of an Oil Company, I can't claim to be an unsophisticated investor. But when ALL the financial advice was pay down your mortgage and build a high credit score that way you can get through rough times, and that turns out to be wrong at the moment I needed it, something is amiss.

Still there were somethings better four years ago. Not much traffic, no one had any place to go.

The factory workers had lots of free time. The massive lay-offs hadn't yet began, but unpaid vacations and half shifts were all the rage. The unemployed had an extra time. I remember one Sunday in the fall of '08 when the major newspaper had a one page employment section, that was with the non-classified ads. In the 90s I had to run ads in that paper and they were $40 a line and it would take me 15 minutes to find my little ad.

It was nicer going into a store in '08. The clerks were glad to see a human being. They didn't care if you were a customer, they were just glad you had a pulse.

And of course, Bin Laden thought things were better four years ago, he was running a terrorist operation then, now he's fish food.

So to the idiots who ask, “Are you better off now than four years ago.” I say, “Shut-up Stupid, if you can remember that time at all you know the answer is 'yes'.”

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

Writing Wednesday: Revision Edition

In my morning reading of writer's blogs I was struck by the number of writers who are in the stage of rewriting where they are totally frustrated. Since I'm still on a high from finishing my rough draft of SHOWGIRLS AND ALIENS and finished the final draft of MIND THIEF a month ago. I'm in a good state of mind to talk about revisions.

One thing that gets writers down about revisions is not having a plan. It doesn't matter if you wrote the first draft as a plotter or a pantser, for the revision you have to break it down into manageable chunks.

I do this in steps by answering questions.

WHY SHOULD THE READER CONTINUE TO READ?

If you answered because of my great characters, great plot, incredible prose, or anything else that most of my Literature Professors talked about then you've got a problem. That's not why a reader invests their time in a book. The reader needs an emotional investment in your book.

To give them emotional investment you need something happening to them. Something that keeps raising the stakes throughout the book.

I've talked about my three P's of writing before. Peril, Ponder, or Polar Bear. In the two books that I just finished up I had all three for different characters.

In MIND THIEF, Howie, the protagonist, was hit by the Polar Bear, the WTF moment, throughout the book. Why was he dreaming of living a different life? Why did it seem all the people around him were lying to him? Why did he have these horrible visions?

In every chapter with Howie I made sure these WTF moments showed up and were prominent. He spent the first two thirds of the book asking “What is going on?”

The Antagonist, Joe Harriman's P was the Pondering. I made sure each chapter showed how he made a decision that changed his life. His deciding to kill a football player to get into the Navy's flight program. To kill millions to advance his research. To kill... Okay his decision were always to kill people but he did have to ponder them.

In SHOWGIRLS AND ALIENS Nomi's life was in peril. So I needed to raise the stakes constantly. At every turn she needed to defeat the bad guys only to have them come back stronger.

So in one revision look to see what is influencing the characters. Are they in danger for most of the book? If so make sure it's mentioned in each chapter.

Do they need to make decisions on which course of action to take? If so it should be in every chapter.

Are they trying to make sense of a world gone mad? Again, every chapter.

It will make the reader continue reading.

INTERNAL CONFLICT

Character need to battle themselves as much as they need to battle the bad guys. My character Nomi was an Olympic level gymnast. Her parents devoted everything in pursuit of that goal. After they were killed she couldn't perform. In order to beat the bad guys she needs to use all the skills they trained her. So she has a internal conflict going on. She has to trust herself when all her life she just trusted blindly in what her parents told her to do. In order to win she must grow up. Something she resisted.

In one revision go back through and find every major character's internal conflict and make sure it is not only shown, but that it relates to the external conflict that is going on. By amping up the internal conflict it makes the external conflict more powerful.

Those two steps bring out your character, now how about the plot?

THEME

Every book has a theme. An overriding message. What's the theme of book? Write it down in one sentence.

MIND THIEF – True love conquers all.

SHOWGIRLS AND ALIENS – Believe in yourself.

Look through your book and find what that overriding theme is. Then go through make sure that theme comes through in actions your characters take. Throughout the books twists and turns make sure that theme is there.

LOOK AT YOUR BOOK AGAIN

After doing those three revisions the book suddenly isn't hard to edit anymore. It has clear powerful characters and a clear path from start to finish. Sure there are some points that seem impossible to fix. Those will come, sometimes out of the blue, but they will come.

In MIND THIEF I spent a year with a huge plot problem. Howie was in extreme peril. He had less than two weeks to live. That's peril! The problem was only the bad guys knew that fact. Over and over I wondered, “How do I show the reader the peril he is in?”

Out of the blue it hit me. Start with the bad guys POV. They know that Howie is in danger, they are planing on taking his life. Sometimes major plot problems are that simple to fix.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE