Shut-Up Stupid Sunday: Leave Elvis Alone

The latest charges from the loony bin, I mean: the Republican Party, is that President Obama has been appointing more policy Czars than any other president.

Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh are up in arms that the president has increased the number of Czars from Bush’s 36 positions to 32. Washington Monthly

They add this to their complaints that the President decreased Defense Spending from $487.7 Billion to $527 Billion, and when Obama compared the Public Option in healthcare to the Post Office they complained how the cost of a stamp doubled from $0.29 in 1994 to $0.44 in 2009.

Needless to say they also complained about the President addressing school children and telling them to work hard and learn math.

Now the Republican hatred of liberal things like facts and math is well known, but now they are going too far and they are attacking Elvis.

The whole idea for the appointment of policy Czars came after the famous meeting of President Richard Nixon and Elvis Presley.

Nixon and Elvis

The dope-fiend Elvis met with Nixon to see how he could help with Nixon’s “War on Drugs” the US government’s policy of searching Vietnam War Protesters for Marijuana to disperse the crowds.

Elvis’s idea was that he could be a special agent to relate the anti-drug policies to popular culture, and he wanted a shiny badge.

Nixon was so impressed that he wanted to make Elvis his drug Czar until his chief of staff H.R. Haldeman said, “You’ve got to be kidding”.

Almost Drug Czar

In the end Elvis only became a “Special Assistant in the Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs” presumably in the area of Disposal of said Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs, but he did get a shiny badge that was proudly displayed in his collection when he died of a Drug overdose.

The meeting did end with the idea of creating the “Special Office for Drug Abuse Prevention” which became the office of the Drug Czar in order to follow Nixon’s idea that:

"[President Nixon] emphasized that you have to face the fact that the whole problem is really the blacks. The key is to devise a system that recognizes this while not appearing to."
—H R Haldeman to his diary

This office was highly successful in making sure that any media reports on drug abuse included a picture of a black male in handcuffs being arrested in “the Ghetto” at night, until President Obama ended the “War on Drugs” this year.

By attacking the idea of policy Czars, Beck and Limbaugh are attacking the man who came up with the idea, Elvis Presley.

This is very offensive here in the South where people worship in order: Elvis, Jesus, Guns, and the Protestant Bible. (Elvis coming in substantially higher as many of them have heard his songs as opposed to reading the Bible.)

So I say to Beck and Limbaugh: Shut-up Stupid and Leave Elvis alone.