Monday, November 28, 2011

CGI Vegetable

In my last poll by a two to one margin, people thought that Micheal Bay committed worse Crimes against Humanity than Hitler. Torquemada got off Scott free. I have a feeling that this is due to the recentness of the Abomination that is Transformers III and that Torquemada's crimes were so far in the past that people don't have any emotions about them.

But that doesn't excuse the brain director that only knows how to stuff CGI into movies for all the misery he has caused.

Speaking of Vegetables congress has ruled that Pizza is a vegetable, because the sauce is made from tomatoes which are fruits. The logic behind that escapes me. So I was wondering what should they declare a vegetable next?

Coal: Coal is made from plant matter, probably a few real vegetables in there, that has been compressed for millions of years until everything but the carbon has been squeezed out of it. (Ultra simplified explanation) since it is made from plant matter it is as much a vegetable as pizza.

Meat: Most meat that humans eat come from herbivores, animals that eat plants. In the case of modern farm raised chickens their diet is mostly corn. Since they are made from plants they are as much a vegetable as pizza.

Bourbon: Bourbon is made from corn mash. Corn is a vegetable, Bourbon is more of a vegetable than pizza.

Bullshit: Bulls eat corn and turn it in to crap. It is more of a vegetable than pizza and congress should be familiar with bullshit as they produce enough of it.

As always vote at the upper left hand corner of the page.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

2 comments:

Stephanie Barr said...

If I vote bullshit, can we forcefeed it to our reps at the congressional cafeteria?

Project Savior said...

If we only could, it would be a glorious day.