My last poll looked at how well people were sticking to their New Years Eve resolutions after one day. Petty good actually half the respondents kept them, a quarter didn't know and one quarter broke them completely. I'm sure that has changed by now.
On to the next poll:
In politics many politicians get a bump by being mistaken for someone else. Here in Kentucky Senator Mich McConnell is only in office because people have seen his picture and thought he was Admiral Ackbar from RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Looking at the pictures it is hard to tell them apart, but Admiral Ackbar was played by Tim Rose and had a special mask that made him look like Mich McConnell.
Rick Perry has a double bump, which is good as if there three he wouldn't be able to count that high. Some people think he was the lead singer of Journey and some think he was the gay cowboy in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.
Neither of those is true.
Rick Santorum gets a bump because people think he is a frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex. They don't realize they are voting for something truly disgusting.