Friday, April 27, 2012

Marketing Failure

After releasing an old article HOW MUCH HEAD SHOULD A GIRL GIVE IN A DAY? and telling my story of how I couldn't get it published in any magazine. I received feedback about what I did wrong.

I made a major marketing mistake.

I just used my standard bio:

Darrell B. Nelson is a former Securities Broker and Insurance Agent who has decided to use the total meltdown of his former industry, and the total destruction of any illusions of personal financial security the meltdown caused, as an opportunity to pursue a writing career.

It works fine as bio for fiction. But this was a non-fiction article. For non-fiction, the writer needs to show their knowledge of the subject matter. So my bio for HOW MUCH HEAD SHOULD A GIRL GIVE IN A DAY? should have been:

America's universally renowned International Fellatio Expert, Darrell B. Nelson, has over 30 years experience in receiving Fellatio. His interest in Fellatio started in teen years and he has been active in receiving Fellatio ever since.

With a bio like that the media would take notice and I'd be called on to do interviews:

Fame and Fortune would soon follow.

But I didn't think to change my bio. You might say I blew it. Oh well. Easy come, easy go.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE


Stephanie Barr said...

Your many puns reminded me of a line in one of the dirtiest scenes I've ever written where my female protagonists talks a newby police officer into jerking off in front of her.

Easily one of my favorite parts of the scene was the ability to have her say, "Come on, come on. How hard can it be?"

Darrell B. Nelson said...

That has me intrigued.
Could you send that to me?

Stephanie Barr said...

Yep, though I caution you it's in first draft form, straight as it comes from my brain.

Darrell B. Nelson said...

That's fine