Monday, November 19, 2012

Star Wars Poll II

In my last poll dealt with a bigger problem of Disney taking over the Star Wars franchise than the direction they might take it. That's the copyright protection policies of the two companies. What made Star Wars so embedded in our culture was the fairly loose copyright protection that Lucasfilms gave it.

Lucasfilms pretty much had the attitude that if something was done by true fans, for love not profit, it was okay.

Disney is ruthless in their copyright protections. I really don't see how these two legal policies can be resolved.

But, lots of people are worried about the direction the new films will be taking. Also who the next director will be. These speculation are based on absolutely nothing. For some reason other commentators don't take my approach to speculations based on nothing. If you are going to do that shoot for the moon. So here are my director picks and the plots for Star Wars VII:

Who should write and direct Star Wars VII?

Seth Macfarlane

PLOT: Luke and Leia shack up (I know they are brother and sister) in a suburban house where they watch TV and go on rambling adventures filled with strange flashbacks to pop-culture events.

Joss Wedlon:

PLOT: With the destruction of the Empires power system, the Galaxy is in Chaos. Han Solo's son, Wash Solo, (Alan Tudyk) is the pilot of a small Firefly class starship captained by combat veteran Mal (Nathan Fillion) and is married to the second in command Zoe Solo (Gina Torres). R2D2 has had what ever the Jawas did to him fixed so he is now back to the merciless killing machine that squeaks in glee as he looks down upon the bloody remains of any who dare oppose him. Like he did in the Star Wars II and III. He also has a voice played by Adam Baldwin. C3PO is the ship's mechanic and has an even more feminine voice (Jewel Straite).

They pick up two passengers Dr. Simon Tam (Sean Maher) and his 17 year old sister River (Summer Glau) digital effects make her young enough for the part. It is reveled that River has the greatest mastery of the force ever. The alliance tried a mind control operation on her leaving her mentally unstable. At times she is an unstoppable killing machine, other times incapable of simple tasks.

She has the potential to be the most powerful force in the galaxy, so both the Alliance and the remains of the Empire are after her.

Quentin Tarantino:
PLOT: After the fall of the Empire, Leia and Han Solo are trying to keep the various factions of the Alliance together. They have made an uneasy peace. Luke has formed a Jedi academy to act as the muscle in the new republic. The Trade Federation has demanded an end to the rampant smuggling. Leia sends Luke and the Jedi after the smugglers. Han Solo rebels joining his old smuggler friends. The Trade Federation and allies tell Leia they will rebel if both the Smugglers and the Jedi aren't destroyed. This leads to a three-way Mexican standoff between Leia, Luke and Han. Spoiler alert, they end up killing each other and the galaxy is in Chaos.

Russ Mayer:
PLOT: Lots of big breasted women enter the Star Wars universe.

Micheal Moore:
PLOT: A look at how the Empire conspired with the corporations to outsource jobs from the central planets to the outer worlds. The only jobs the former union skilled laborers could get were low paying temp jobs with no benefits on the Death Star. Interviews of workers who had face the risk of being blown up by the Rebels vs. feeding their families.

Kevin Smith:
PLOT: Princess Bethliea (Linda Fiorentino) gives the plans of the new Death Star being built by Lord Lokia (Ben Affleck) to a video store clerk (Jeff Anderson). He drops it and two dope dealers, Jaywalker (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bobwa (Kevin Smith) find it and try to return it. They go to the former Jedi George Carlinwa (George Carlin) and take on the Empire.

Alex Cox:

Title: Star Wars VII: Sith and Nancy

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

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