I'm finally at the stage that I am getting bad reviews. Maybe I'm weird (My critique partners would say I don't need the modifier) but bad reviews make me happy. It means someone thought enough about my writing to say something and didn't just think, “Oh the poor thing, at least he's trying.”
So here are some of the reviews I've gotten at Barnes & Noble:
For REPOSSESSING SANITY:
Anonymous gave it a 1 star saying, “Disgusting! I couldn't finish this story. It was beyond violent and not at all interesting. This author needs help.”
It's always nice when a stranger takes an interest in my mental health, not just my friends and family.
Other reviews were a bit more positive.
4 Stars “An intrigueing layout of how you take your chances and who you do your dealings with. Well written, fast paced plot will keep you wondering what's next.”
5 Stars Great Short: “Really enjoyed great read”
Both a 1 star and a 5 star with the review: “No text was provided for this review.”
I never know how to take that.
For HOW MUCH HEAD SHOULD A GIRL GIVE (IN A DAY)?
SN#DTF said: “This book truly has helped me for when I lost my VIRGINITY !!”
Since it dealt with dietary issues of head, I would love to hear SN#DTF's story. Was his girlfriend on a diet and found out that giving him head would add 35 calories to her daily caloric intake and said, “In that case lets just have sex.”
Someone replied: “Im sorry, but thats sad if you need a BOOk to lose your "virginity". Thanks for leting me know your personalblife though.” They gave my book a one star.
Did they give my book the bad rating because it got SN#DTF laid?
Then there is the minimalist negative rating: I Fail to see the humor: “I
It's simplicity reminds me of what one publisher wrote to Oscar Wilde, "My dear sir, I have read your manuscript. Oh, my dear sir."
For I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE
I got one reviewer to give it 5 Stars: “Great 3 story collection. Really enjoyed will def look up more of auth work”
I'm glad they liked the first three stories, but there were actually 4 stories. I didn't think the last one would drag down the ratings.
A HOME TO DIE FOR got these:
A good fast read, Whoa, and Great.
One person liked the Adjuster better which is a bit of a shock to me, the first story was picked up by the first mag I sent it to. The Adjuster set records for the speed that it was rejected, but I still liked it. It just goes to show the great thing about self publishing is that it can give readers, who like something that editors don't like, a way to get those stories.
I know I read a lot of stuff that wouldn't be published in a regular magazine.
One thing I have to say about Barnes and Noble; I don't sell anywhere near the books there as I do at other places, but I get a lot more reviews.
By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE