Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Temper Tantrum Tuesday: Healthcare for the GOP


Over at CAP News they unveiled the long awaited GOP Healthcare Plan, The Torture Option. Adding the Torture Option might get some of the more moderate Republicans, ei: Scott “I never said I was a Republican” Brown (R-Ma) to support Healthcare reform, but to get the middle of the GOP and Ben Nelson (D-Greed) to vote they’ll need to go further.

They could tie it into the Second Amendment and have gun ownership be a requirement to buy health insurance through the Federal Exchange.

To get the full Public Option people would be required to own a pick-up, or at least be photographed in front of one.

New rules could be made so prescriptions would be written on the patient’s hand. That would appeal to the Sarah Palin supporters.

Free OxyContin for radio hosts would get the Rush Limbaugh fans support.

But Bart Stupak (D-Alternate Reality) would still hold out, the only thing that would appeal to him would be to make it so not only wouldn’t federal funds not be allowed to purchase health insurance that covers abortion like the current bill, but not allow any US currency to be used for women’s healthcare. Guaranteeing that infant mortality rates would skyrocket getting us out of our current 30th in the world and push us even lower.

For the extreme right wing anyone fleeing the Conservative Paradise of Mexico would be ground up and used for free lunches for Wall Street, that would get their vote.

As for Sen. Bunning (R-KY) we could attach a rider that bans “Little Green Doctors” from attending Political Events that his wife doesn’t attend, so he doesn’t have to worry about her being attacked by them again.

That should get the current GOP members to vote for it, but the teabaggers would complain that it was being shoved down our throats with only 100% of congress voting for it.

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