Monday, May 21, 2012

Superpower Poll

Last week I asked which religion is the most homo-erotic. It was unanimous: Christianity – You are asked to get on your knees and take the body of a man into your mouth. (Thanks Stephen Colbert for that description) is the most homo-erotic religion.

I didn't ask but I'm sure most people would find that Unitarian's tradition of having homosexuals get married must be the least homo-erotic. Going to supper at any married couples house and seeing how boring (to an outsider) they are is about the worst advertisement for long term relationships, ever! Yet people still get married.

On to the next poll:

It seems that the Avengers movie came out. I know this because everyone asks the question what superpower would you like to have?

As much as I love the idea of having Iron Man or Batman's ability to inherit vast sums of money, I had to think of the other superpowers seen in movies. Naturally I couldn't just stick to Superhero movies and thought of the superpowers in other movies. Here are some:

The ability to get in a fight that should send you to the hospital, and have all your cuts bruises gone in the next scene. This is an incredible superpower that most of the characters in action movies have.

Instant Clean-up
Being able to pull yourself out of any liquid sticky mess, have your clothes cleaned and pressed, and hair and make-up expertly done. In Star Wars they could say “the force” cleaned them up after they escaped from the garbage pile, in most other movies it's just a unmentioned superpower.

Hack non-computer powered systems.
The power to use a laptop to hack anything, even things that aren't powered by computers. “24” loved to do this, villains would hack the natural gas pipelines or nuclear reactors (Yes nuclear reactors do have computers, but in the US the ones controlling the core haven't been updated since the 70s so instructions from modern computers would overload them). With the awesome power that these hackers have they could easily get rid of their enemies. “Oh no, they've just hacked into the major support beam for this building!”

Faith powered vehicles.
In “Dante's Peak” Pierce Bronson could jump in any car, or boat, and take it through the worst environment imaginable and it would last long enough to get him to the other side. It “D-Wars Dragon Wars” military helicopters were exploding left and right from the fireballs the dragons threw at them, but the mid-sized Hyundai had such great fire suppression technology that the “heroes?” survived.

Knowing how to use, and fix, any technology.
Will Smith could jump in the cockpit of a alien spacecraft and just make one mistake. I borrowed a friend's car the other day and was stumped because it didn't use a key to start. This is a power that they had back in the 50s. In the serial “Commando Cody” they flew to the Moon, found a broken Mooncar left by the Moonmen and the sidekick took two minutes to fix it.

Those are five Superpowers that I've seen in the movies that I would love to have. Which is your favorite?

As always vote on the upper left hand side of the page.

By Darrell B. Nelson author of I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE

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