Monday, March 30, 2009

If the Bill of Rights was Twittered.

When the founding fathers wrote the Bill of Rights they had plenty of blank space on the rather large parchment they were using, so they filled it up with some flowery language. The Bill of Rights would read entirely differently if it was done today and had to follow the rules of Twitter and be under 140 characters.

Amendment 1 (original)

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment 1 (Twittered)

Gov can’t get n ur face.

Amendment 2 (original)

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment 2 (Twittered)

People can have guns 2 make gov obey Amend #1

Amendment 3 (original)

No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment 3 (Twittered)

Gov has 2 ask b4 couchsurfing

Amendment 4 (original)

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment 4 (Twittered)

Gov can’t have ur stuff without cause.

Amendment 5 (original)

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment 5 (Twittered)

Gov can’t have u or ur stuff w/o trial. They only get 1 shot.

Amendment 6 (original)

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment 6 (Twittered)

U get speedy trial by local Jury, u will no what accused of, see accusers, no rumors & u get a lawyer.

Amendment 7 (original)

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment 7 (Twittered)

If b sued for a lot, can have jury.

Amendment 8 (original)

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment 8 (Twittered)
No cruel or unusual punishment or excess fines.

Amendment 9 (original)

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment 9 (Twittered)

Ur rights can’t deny others rights

Amendment 10 (original)

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

Amendment 10 (Twittered)

If no fed law, state law, or people rule.

1 comment:

OMYWORD! said...

THIS is BRILLIANT. Now, I must twitter it.