Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Fidelity Credits

Adultery is part of our society according to Infidelity Expert, Stephany Alexander.(How one becomes an Infidelity Expert as opposed to just an Amateur Adulterer she doesn’t explain).

According to her 14% of women and 22% men have been unfaithful. She doesn’t say how she arrived at those statistics, I figure she just keeps a tally pad by her bed.

As a public service I’ve decided to solve the problem of Infidelity in this country and possibly the world. I will do it through Fidelity Credits.

Fidelity Credits work similar to Carbon Credits. Although complex in practice (well not really) they are simple in theory. If you plan on cheating on your spouse simply let me know and for a small fee I will have sex with my wife. I am happily married so my faithful married sex will offset your infidelity.

Naturally, this is done on a sliding scale, if you have an affair and do it doggy style or missionary the fee is quite small, (And you’re not very imaginative). For the more elaborate forms of Infidelity it will naturally be more. For instance if you plan on being unfaithful by doing your partner reverse cowgirl style while a stripper performs oral on the female, then in order to offset this, I will need the money to cover the stripper up front.

I’m sure that there are people out there that think I am a hero for taking on the burden of solving the Adultery Problem upon my self. But I just think I’m doing my part towards making the world a better place.

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