Intelligent Design

This article was originally posted on Project Savior in February 2005, it still holds up today four years later.

Across the country officials are pushing that Intelligent Design be taught in schools. This push that schools should throw out hundreds of years of logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence is obviously part of a larger conspiracy.

1) "I think that part of education is to expose people to different schools of thought. You're asking me whether or not people ought to be exposed to different ideas, the answer is yes."
--George W. Bush, President of the United States of America.
If part of education is to say that a scientific theory that starts out, “For this scientific theory to work, we have to change what a scientific theory is…” And relies on the scientific proof, “Because I say so,” is valid science, Then I guess he has a point.

2) “This is not a new world, it is simply an extension of what began in the old one. It has patterned itself after every dictator who has ever planted the ripping imprint of a boot on the pages of history since the beginning of time. It has refinements , technological advancements, and a more sophisticated approach to the destruction of human freedom. But like every one of the superstates that preceded it, it has one iron rule: logic is an enemy and truth is a menace...”
Rod Serling “The Twilight Zone”
By changing the definition of scientific theory from “a theory is an explanation or model based on observation, experimentation, and reasoning, especially one that has been tested, gone through rigorous peer-review and confirmed as a general principle helping to explain and predict natural phenomena.” To “a theory is what ever I say it is.” It is the first step in getting rid of logic and reason out of the schools, soon to followed by removing math then the teaching logical fallacies from English class.
With a generation of sheep that have no training in logic and reason the state need not even bother with the truth.
Ultimately this plan will fail because thinking like that is obsolete. “Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights
of man, that state is obsolete.” – Rod Serling, “The Twilight Zone”.

3) The Flying Spaghetti Monster, not only created the Earth and Stars but planted the seeds for the Torah, The Bible and all other religious roots so that he/she (What sex is a bowl of pasta?) can guide his noodly followers to a nirvana that includes a mountain, trees, and a midget.
By extension The Flying Spaghetti Monster also created the Illuminati and Free Masons to congregate the wicked that will lead to the all out battle for human souls. The details of this battle is not known but it is believed to involve strainers, cheese graters, and sliced bread.
This battle, involving strainers, cheese graters, other kitchen utensils, will unite the Creationists who believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created all things, with the people who believe that God exists in all things, The latter will convert into Frying Pantheists.

4) One of the major principals of Evolution is that species will involuntarily establish an equilibrium within their environment. You can’t spell equilibrium with out the letter Q. This is one of the many steps towards removing the letter Q from the English language.

5) Evolution relies on reproduction for changes within the species, Without using sex for reproduction, it doesn’t matter if sex is gay or straight, so it doesn’t matter if my dog is gay or not. This is obviously a plan to turn my dog gay.

6) It is part of Senator Chris Buttars’ campaign to become The Global Village Idiot. (http://www.balloon-juice.com/?p=4409).

7) A group of Wacko’s (http://www.discovery.org/csc/) believe that science is responsible for all of ills of the modern world and are using Intelligent Design as a Wedge to start to undo the advances that humans have made over the last 1000 years.
Seriously they do say that here. (Caution PDF file.) (http://www.aclu.org/evolution/legal/wedgedoc.pdf)

8) By removing science and math from schools the Earth will be easy pickings for the Reptile Race.

9) By removing the idea of Quantitative Analysis, Studying the effect of something by comparing the results, It will remove the fact that Happy Dairy Cows are more productive milk producers than unhappy Dairy Cows, letting the Reptile race force the Alien Cows into torture camps.