Friday, February 6, 2009

A Letter to K-Mart

I just came home from shopping for Valentines Day and your store put me in a great mood.

The customers in your parking were very considerate and let me into a good parking spot. Thank you for having such polite customers.

In the parking lot a woman with the most spectacular boobs walked by with her boobs at window level. Putting my wife and me in a great mood for shopping. I've never felt more welcome in going into the store.

I didn't have a chance to ask, but if the shapeliness of her boobs were due to your stores bra's and shirts then I must commend your designers.

Entering your store we were greeted by even more great boobage, which were complimented by your store's nice lighting. It is a lot softer than your competitors and really shows the boobs in the best light, so to speak.

In the condom aisle we were greeted by even more great boobs which may have caused me to overspend, but that is always easy to do as yours is one of the few stores in town that doesn't have their condoms locked up. I like the fact I don't have to go get a clerk to help.

Moving on to the electronics section, We quickly found the game we wanted and the stockgirl was very nice by stocking the lower shelves as we looked at the games on the upper shelves. This enabled me to get to a position where I could see her face level with my wife's crotch. A sight that always brings a smile to my face.

As soon as she saw we had picked out the game we wanted, she quickly helped us getting it out of it's case and bringing it to the electronics cashier who was a dead ringer for Elvis.

Luckily not the skinny plain Elvis of his really early days, or the fat drug crippled Elvis at the end. But more the Elvis in his prime, the one people think of when he was a Rock Idol.

Elvis was very professional in ringing up purchases and making sure the cleaning supplies didn't get mixed in with the food. A very good catch for an electronics cashier. He was by far the best Elvis I have ever had ring up my purchases.

Much better than the Yoko Ono look a like at your competitor's store.

Elvis seemed very sincere when he said. "Thank you very much." at the end of the sale.

Even the after the sale service was great, it seemed like great boobs came out from every aisle. There was even a good amount nice boobage in the parking lot.

I want to thank your store for giving my wife and I a great shopping experience.

We will definitely be shopping more at your store.

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