Friday, September 11, 2009

Making Houseplants Allies against the Catspiracy

This weeks Reduce Footprints “Change the World Wednesday” challenge is this:
“Fall is a wonderful time to plant things ... trees, bushes, flower bulbs ... even cool weather vegetables. And, of course, there are always house plants. So this week, plant something.”

Which reminded me that Houseplants and cats are natural enemies. There was one evil cat minion that lived in my house that thought it was his calling in life to rid the world (or at least my house) of plants.

The cat minions have a slight advantage in their war against houseplants in that they can move quicker. I had one Spider Plant that tried to fight back, by growing a vine and trying to ensnare the evil cat minion while it was napping but it wasn’t fast enough to grab it in the brief 8-hour nap the cat minion took.

Needless to say the cat minion took its revenge, it wasn’t a pretty sight.

I researched ways to aid my houseplants against the evil cat minions and here are two suggestions I got.

“Place your Houseplants up high”
The problem with this suggestion is in the wild most plants are on the ground, since they don’t go to higher places I have to assume that most plants have a fear of heights. I don’t want to be psychologically abusing my houseplants.

“Buy poisonous houseplants”

This plan would most certainly backfire as when cat’s bodies get sick their mind control gets stronger. When one evil cat minion that got into my house got sick once, she used her evil mind control to force me to take her to the vet and stay up three days straight nursing her back to health.

So, if you have evil cat minions around your house check to make sure your houseplants aren’t poisonous.

Those solutions didn’t work so I came up with one of my own, Cactuses.

By placing Cactuses around my houseplants, they defended the others. I made sure to get ones that were non-poisonous but prickly.

The evil minion tried to attack the houseplants only to be poked in the nose by the cactus. As determined as he was he couldn’t get past the defending cactuses, giving my other houseplants time to devise a scheme to deal with the evil cat minions. They say they will have that ready in a few thousands years. It’s tough dealing with houseplants as they are very patient.

Update on other horror’s of the Catspiracy:

Over at Friends Fur Ever I saw a horrifying picture of a mind control cat minion:

Even with just a photo his big cute eyes make me want to hug him and pet him. I don’t know how anyone could resist that mind control if they are in the same room with him.

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