Monday, September 7, 2009

Obama’s Address to Schools is part of the Catspiracy



Whitehouse Address

On Tuesday, President Obama will address the kids of this nation challenging them to work hard, earn good grades and stay in school by taking personal responsibility and being accountable, setting real goals and having the work ethic to see them through.

Naturally the Republicans are against personal responsibility and accountability.

It turns out that this is all part of the Catspiracy, Tigger’s evil plan to take over the world.

One of the ways kids learn personal responsibility is by taking care of a cat.


Kid with Evil Minion

Learning to care for a cat, kids learn about the needs of others, having to put aside things they want to do and think about someone else. The evil cats reinforce this by rewarding them with affection and cuteness.

Cats train our youth to take personal responsibility and in the process they gain empathy for others, which makes these kids gain self-esteem and do better in school.


Cat helping with schoolwork

Part of Tigger’s evil plan is to send out her evil minions to train kids personal responsibility and empathy. These kids, trained by evil cat minions, do better in life and as adults will use the lessons of personal responsibility and empathy to rule over those who weren’t taught by cats and have a lower sense of personal responsibility, less empathy and lower self-esteem.


Schoolcat

That is why the Republicans are protesting the Presidents address, they know it is part of the Catspiracy. If the President and Tigger go forward with their evil plan, Americans will start displaying personal responsibility, empathy, and accountability; three things that the Republicans despise.

3 comments:

Doctor Faustroll said...

I read the text of Biraq's speech over at First Door on the Left (http://www.esoterically.net/weblog/2009/09/07/back-to-school-remarks/) and I found it so dangerous to my source of material — stupid Americans and the feline owners — that I feel compelled to do drugs for the rest of the day and maybe the rest of the week.

Stephanie B said...

Hilarious! When I think about the manipulative power of my own two cats - letting my 18 month old pull their ears and grab handfuls of flesh without attacking her - I'm blown away by the diabolical scheme!

Tricia said...

MERR!!!

YOU ARE WRONG THIS TIME PROJECT SAVIOR!! I HAVE NO PART IN OBAMA'S PLANS. HE IS A FOOL. HE WILL NEVER RULE THE WORLD. I WOULDN'T EVEN EMPLOY HIM TO FETCH ME MY TOYS!!!

The rest you got right, though.

:)

TIGGER