Monday, January 5, 2009

The Medical-Industrial Complex’s Conspiracy against Crank’s Herbal Placebo.

Even though America’s Foremost Placebo Expert, Dr Wee Todd Ted, Has shown that “Crank’s Herbal Placebo” will detoxify, purify, and revitalize your body, Restoring balance within it’s chemistry and electromagnetic energy by bring it in harmony with nature while stimulating and strengthening your immune system, support and rejuvenate various organs in your body; and stimulate your body's power to heal itself, The butchers and poisoners, within the Medical establishment are against “Crank’s Herbal Placebo” because it’s cures cut into the incomes that doctors make by keeping people sick.

“Crank’s Herbal Placebo” can prevent or cure many different ailments, particularly emotional ones. As Dr Wee Todd Ted has proved with evidence based on inadequate investigations, anecdotes, and testimonials.

“Crank’s Herbal Placebo” is a proven weight loss pill that when combined with any diet plan that reduces calorie intake by 250 calories per day and an exercise plan that burns at least 250 calories per day, has been shown to reduce body fat by up to 50 pounds within 18 months.

“Crank’s Herbal Placebo” fills the special needs of individuals whose bodies are robbed of vitamins from stress. “Crank’s Herbal Placebo” when combined with proper eating habits make sure that the body has enough vitamins to replace those that have been taken by stress.

“Crank’s Herbal Placebo” turns the toxins used as additives to foods, into substances that that can pose no threat to human health by working with your natural body chemistry to break down these toxins before they can enter your blood stream.

“Crank’s Herbal Placebo” can restore the minerals that are destroyed by the cooking process.

“Crank’s Herbal Placebo” offers optimal nutritional support, when combined with a balanced diet, and tastes great.

“Crank’s Herbal Placebo” Promise Quick, Dramatic, and Holistically Miraculous Results.

“Crank’s Herbal Placebo” is a combination of Crank’s panacea and Crank’s Beauty Neuve Treatment that combine to be effective against a wide range of unrelated diseases, while giving you a treatment that will relax the mind and leave the complexion radiant.

“Crank’s Herbal Placebo” may relieve not only anxiety but also pain, nausea, vomiting, palpitations, shortness of breath, and other symptoms. Temporary relief has been demonstrated, in arthritis, hay fever, headache, cough, high blood pressure, premenstrual tension, peptic ulcer, and even cancer.

Legal Disclaimer.
Dr Wee Todd Ted received his doctorate from “Fishy and Shady University” located on Dr Wee Todd Ted’s property with a beautiful Quad formed by Dr Wee Todd Ted’s House, Garage, Garden shed and Tool Shed. Dr Wee Todd Ted graduated the top of his class of one. Fishy and Shady University is not accredited by the U.S. Secretary of Education or the Council on Higher Education Accreditation, the IRS has not granted it tax free status, the Yellow Pages refuses to list it under Schools and Universities, and Dr Wee Todd Ted has been unsuccessful in getting Ivy to grow on any of the “Universities” buildings.

“Crank’s Herbal Placebo” may cause uneven tire wear, lower gas mileage, dry mouth, Bigfoot, higher homeowner insurance rates, sudden attraction of sick cats, mild forms of leprosy, bald spots on your lawn, inability to grow Ivy, Spontaneous laughter from friends and family when they learn you are using it, a belief that the left is persecuting Christians, Hobbititus, interest in watching lesbian porn, increased lesbian libido, El Chupacabra, and in rare cases spontaneous orgasms.

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