Saturday, January 17, 2009

My Last Encounter with a Prostitute

I need to start this piece off by saying I have no problem with prostitution. I’ve never paid for sex, not because of some moral reason, but because for me it is easier to get sex for free than to pay for it.

This is a story of the last time I ran into a prostitute, but not a lot stranger than most times I’ve talked to them.

I was out of coffee and I knew I was low on gas so I left the house early one morning. After filling up and getting a cup of coffee I saw someone else needed the pump so I pulled forward and started getting my coffee ready for the drive and adjusting the radio.

I saw a curly haired person in a leather jacket and leather pants walking towards me. I had to wonder, is that a guy or a girl?

Unfortunately, as I was trying to figure out the person’s sex, they noticed me staring at them, waved at me and started walking over. I still had about 20 minutes before I’d have to start out to work so I figured I’d see what they wanted.

As they approached, I still had no clue what this person’s sex was.

They got to the window and asked. “Would you like some sugar?”

I’d like to say my first thought was that I could never betray my wife by having sex without her or some noble thought, but in reality it was, “Is 8:30 in the morning the best time for transvestite hooker’s to prowl the local gas stations?”

“Uh no.” Was all I could come up with as a witty reply.

“Oh,” Was their come back. “You got a smoke?”

I was tempted to exchange a cigarette for a titty flash, not because I wanted to see the titties but because it would hopefully answer my question of what gender they were.

Then I thought it must be a tough job, being a transvestite street walker who works the early shift or a street walker who looks for John’s that have one foot out of the closet so they bang hooker’s that look like dudes, but only early in the morning.
Whichever was the case being impolite wouldn’t really help this person, so I handed them a smoke.

They took a drag and said. “I could rock your world, hon.”

“I’m sure you could,” I replied. “But my world is fine the way it is.”

With that they walked off, and I sped out of the gas station.

I’m always I little leery of filling up my car first thing in the morning now, I figure if I really need gas I can go out at midnight when the A team prostitutes are on the prowl.