Thursday, January 22, 2009

That’s What he Said.

I just read Madame Isis’s excellent post: Where she deciphers chickspeak for guys.
One thing I’ve noticed is girls don’t always understand mantalk either so in my own humble way I will try to translate the things guys say into what they really mean.

What a guy means when he first meets you.

“Do you want to go someplace and talk?”
This means: Let’s have sex, talk if you must and the going someplace private is optional.

“Nice shirt, (dress, pants, ect.)”
This means: Can you please take it off so I can have sex with you?

“So, what brings you here tonight?”
This means: Thanks for showing up, now let’s go have sex.

This means: I want to have sex with you.

During the relationship.

“I want to be left alone.”
This means: I want sex but I’m tired of talking, so could you please put your mouth to good work.

“I love your sense of humor.”
This means: I want sex.

“Did you want to watch a movie?”
This means: Let’s watch some porn and then have sex.

“Do you want to be left alone?”
This means: Can I film you masturbating?

This means: I want sex.

When the guy is breaking up with you.

“I never want to see you again.”
This means: I never want to talk to you again. Just silently get naked so we can have sex and then leave.

“We can still be friends.”
This means: We can still have sex, we just won’t see each other with our clothes on.

“I’m seeing someone else.”
This means: Are you up for a threeway?

“I can’t stand to see you anymore?”
This means: I only want to do you doggy style.

This means: Want to have sex?

After you’ve been broken up for a while.

“How have you been?”
This means: Have you learned any new sex tricks you’d like to show me?

“My new girlfriend is great?”
This means: Can you talk her into a threeway?

This means: Want to have sex?

As you can see guys have a very complicated code they use when speaking to chicks. If any women out there have had guys say something to them that they are not sure what it means just ask me and I’ll try and translate it for you.

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