Friday, January 2, 2009

Wereroach (A movie Review)

A garbage collector played by Dirk Squarejaw, is bitten by a wereroach while working the graveyard shift, under the full moon.

One month later he is having sex with his girl friend (Ima E.Z. Fucgue) and starts to change.

Even the monotone pleadings from Ima of, “Oh, stop.” And “Don’t, I’m serious, if you turn into a roach I’m leaving you.” Can’t stop the transformation.

For the next week he continues to change into a roach at night and live as a human during the day. Until Orkin Van Hellsing appears and kills him with a silver roach hotel.
Ima falls into Orkin’s arms and declares, “I loved him with all my heart, but ick, I mean really, ick” then adds, “I’m sure you know how to use your power nozzle.”

The movie fades out with images of Orkin’s power nozzle sliding into crack in the wall moving in and out until it blows it’s bug goo. (At least that’s what I think that was.)

Oddly enough the Roaches out acted the humans in this fine piece of cinema. The production number of the roaches tap dancing in front of the full moon was fantastic.

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